I know of a friend who recently was offered a part-time job. He was going to work as a therapist one day a week for a luxurious upscale residential treatment facility. The agency was very eager to acquire the skills of my friend. They wanted all kinds of preliminary education courses completed on line before employment could begin. My friend dutifully completed the courses.
Then the fun began. The actual contract was introduced and low and behold, since this was a contract position, the contractor (my friend) would be responsible for all taxes including Social Security, Income Tax etc.
When my friend brought this matter to the attention of the proposed employer, and notified them that the contract could not be signed unless the tax matter was handled by the agency, the response was, "Thanks."
My friend said "I felt like the snake slithered away in the grass."
You may have had this type of experience before. You may have applied for a job and you thought you were going to be hired. You might have fallen in love and thought that this relationship was really going to be permanent, maybe result in a marriage.
Then bam! It's all over and if you are lucky you get a thanks, most of the time nothing may be said.This type of intense infatuation or attraction followed by sudden repulsion and rejection can feel really upsetting, it can jolt you.
A person can say to themselves, "I thought we were going to have an agreement, a relationship and now I am being kicked to the curb."
We tend to be a society that deals in commodities. How much stock do you own? How much money is in your bank account? How much property do you own? This can translate to human relationships. How many lovers have you had? How many spouses?
How many business partners have you had? How many agents? How many financial advisors? When everything and everyone is a commodity it can feel overwhelming, it can feel empty. How do we work and interact with one another in order to get our needs met without having to feel rejected and to be cast aside for someone or something else?
Intimacy is something that humans need and desire. The challenge, however, is that at times, money, profitability, political expedience and avarice have the uncanny ability to override and thus human compassion and cooperative collaboration become a casualty.
My friend offered to the agency the possibility of serving as an educational consultant for them. So, there was the possibility of some kind of continued dialogue and the opportunity of a partnership. This agency decided instead to say "thanks " and with that they rogered over and out.
This is a shame because the possibilities of a future collaborative relationship was terminated. The following Ross Perot quote is found stenciled on a wall outside a downstairs ballroom at the Hyatt Regency Hotel at the Dallas Fort Worth, TX International Airport :
"If you see a snake, kill it;
Board rooms are full of snakes."
This comment tells you a lot about the competitive kill or be killed nature of the corporate business world. This is definitely the reptile brain at work. Hopefully, in our relationships professionally and personally, we can be more present and authentic with one another.
We can move beyond functioning on a reptile brain level, we can move to the limbic and frontal cortex brain levels of activity. When we do this, we become more whole, our brains and our hearts and our feeling systems become engaged. When this happens communication can become more open and satisfying and agreements become more genuine. May it be so for us all.