This is a list I did not want to write and, hopefully, I will never have to write again... but I doubt it.
The "Texties" are awards given by my company, TigerText, to individuals who made the most egregious texting errors of the calendar year -- the folks who had the worst "I'm such an idiot for sending that" moments of 2010. We judged the "winners" based on the following criteria: absurdity of message sent, creativity in language, thoughtlessness, personal reputation destruction, and the impact the ill-fated text had on the life of the sender. It is unfortunate for everyone who landed on this list but it should be a reminder that our mobile messages can live forever and can come back to haunt us.
In any event, the winners of 2010's Textie awards are:
Ashley Cole -- One of the top soccer players in the world, just two hours before Cole was scheduled to play for England against Team USA in the World Cup, he was furiously texting a woman whose picture he saw on the internet asking her to text back with naked pictures of herself. He continued to text her throughout the World Cup, often at times she knew he was supposed to be involved in team activities. The woman leaked the texts to British newspapers who were none too pleased that one of their national heroes was more interested in sexts than he was in success at the World Cup. Several months later, Cole and his wife got a divorce.
Tony Parker -- There are widespread reports that Parker's wife, Eva Longoria, found hundreds of texts between her NBA husband and Erin Barry, the wife of a former teammate. While Eva decided not to leak the texts, she did decide to divorce Tony.
Unnamed Montana Teen -- A teenager in Helena, Montana sent a text message to a drug dealer he knew asking, "Hey Dawg, do you have a $20 bag I can buy right now?" One problem, he typed in the wrong number for the drug dealer and accidentally sent the text to the county Sherriff instead. The Sherriff thought it was a joke at first but soon figured out he had stumbled upon a real drug deal. A detective was sent to meet the teen, who arrived for the buy with his clueless father in tow. The detective showed the boy his badge and called the father over. In the end, no charges were filed but the teen faced a prospect that may be even worse than juvenile jail - angry parents!
Cecil Newton -- The father of stud quarterback Cam Newton allegedly worked with an accomplice to send text messages to a Mississippi State booster outlining details of a pay-for-play scheme that would land Cam at Miss State and hundreds of thousands of dollars in Cecil's pocket. Miss State never paid up and Cam went to Auburn instead. When the NCAA found out about the text messages, it became one of the biggest sports stories of the year; casting a dark shadow over Auburn's undefeated season and almost costing Cam Newton his Heisman Trophy. Cecil Newton has been barred from associating with the Auburn football program and there will always be questions about Cam and Auburn's integrity. As for Cecil's integrity, there are no questions... he texted it away.
Kenneth Kratz -- The Wisconsin District Attorney met a woman and proceeded to begin texting her in order to start up a relationship. Did I mention that he met her because she was a witness in a case he was prosecuting? Did I also mention that the case involved the woman being assaulted by her ex-boyfriend? The woman went from being assaulted by her ex to being assaulted by Kratz's text messages. The woman reported feeling pressured to go out with Kratz or he would not fully prosecute her violent boyfriend. Among Kratz's texts were "Are u the kind of girl that likes secret contact with an older married elected DA?" and "I'm the atty. I have the $350,000 house. I have the 6-figure career. You may be the tall, young, hot nymph but I am the prize!" Kratz's prize for his text messages was a lawsuit from the woman. He also resigned from his DA job.
Brett Favre -- Yikes, that is one side of Brett I did not need to see! One has to wonder, how awesome must you think your private part is to use it as the closing pitch on an affair? By the way, I know that Brett's nasty text messages and photos were not sent in 2010, but they got leaked this year so he still gets to make the list. Lucky Brett!
Marty Joe Cooper -- Marty Joe escaped from jail in Tennessee by using a piece of a toilet to dig a hole in the wall of his cell. Pretty clever, but what he did next was just plain dumb. Cooper fled prison and ended up at a local hotel. He began texting friends to tell them he had escaped and where he was. You can probably guess where this one is going -- his fingers hit the wrong button and he accidentally texted his whole story to the wrong person. That person told the police who went to the hotel and promptly re-arrested Cooper. He now faces an extra two years in prison for the escape. Lucky for him, it isn't against the law to send a dumb text... at least not yet.
Jesse James -- Poor Jesse James and Sandra Bullcok's story made the cover of People, Star, and US Weekly for what seemed like 183 weeks straight. Jesse decided to have a steamy relationship and recorded every moment of it in indiscreet text messages that were shockingly later revealed for the entire world to see. Sandra divorced him and adopted a baby instead of dealing with James. James gets special recognition in our rankings because his messages and indiscretions cost him America's current sweetheart and Best Actress winner. Congratulations, Jesse!
One last word -- I am obviously happy that the criminals, lowlifes, and adulterers on this list did not get away with their deeds. Still, I cannot help but wonder about the less publicized incidents and embarrassments that were caused by wayward texts. If you've got a good story, please send it to me at Texties@TigerText.com.
Who knows, maybe you can be a Textie winner next year!! But I promise to keep your identity private.