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And This Year's Ted Haggard Rent Boy Award Goes To...

By now you know about Dr. George Rekers, the Baptist minister who was paid $87,000 by the State of Florida to be an anti-gay "expert witness" against gay adoption. How did he spend the money? By hiring a boy 40 years younger to go on a 10-day trip through Europe.
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When I was a kid, one thing my mother told me that actually turned out to be true was, "If you say something bad about someone, they'll say something bad about you."

Today's moms would do well to say to their children, "If you actively work against gay people and then hire a rent boy, he'll say something bad about you."

By now you know about Dr. George Rekers, a Baptist minister and raging homophobe who serves on the board of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH), and was paid $87,000 by the State of Florida as an anti-gay so-called "expert witness" against gay adoption. How did he spend the money? By hiring a boy 40 years younger to go on a 10-day trip through Europe. Could someone alert the Florida teabaggers as to how their tax dollars are being spent? How about the other Florida taxpayers?

His website posted a statement denying that Rekers used the website to hire a prostitute to accompany him on a recent trip, but that he "requires an assistant to lift his luggage in his travels because of an ongoing condition following surgery" -- in this case a young, blond, cute, barely legal assistant with a profile detailing his sexual preferences, body type, and circumcision status.

One thing about today's religious right leaders: they think the public must be really, really stupid. Have you ever heard of anyone hiring someone to be his only companion on a European trip, for 10 days, for the sole purpose of baggage handling? I'm friendly with the handlers at the airport and bellhops at the hotels, but I don't want to tour Madrid with them.

What did the rent boy do while he wasn't handling Rekers' suitcases? Since he's a 2008 high school graduate, maybe he perused college catalogs. What on earth did Rekers and the rent boy talk about? According to Rekers, he found out about the kid's profession during the trip, and witnessed the Gospel of Jesus Christ to him.

If I was a rent boy and one of my johns started witnessing to me while trapped in Europe, I would stuff his face with more than a croissant.

The rent boy is talking and giving salacious details of what went on with Rekers, and says the only bags he lifted were between Rekers' legs. (Sorry, these jokes write themselves).

Meanwhile, Rekers is threatening a lawsuit, and the accusations fly back and forth -- Rekers denies he's gay, the rent boy said he wasn't but now says he is, or isn't, or just likes baby oil, or whatever. Step back and just watch this pile up.

I used to feel sorry for these closeted religious fanatics, but not anymore. Every single one of them should be exposed, ridiculed and run out of town. I don't care how miserable and confused they are; they have used their power to destroy the lives of others, they push nonsensical and dangerous "therapies," and they tell lie after lie about gay people in order to pursue right-wing power. In some cases they're not exactly race-sensitive. Rekers also advised that the adoption ban should be expanded to include Native Americans because they are also at higher risk of mental illness and substance abuse. "They would tend to hang around each other,'" Rekers testified, "So the children would be around a lot of other Native Americans who are ... doing the same sorts of things."

The Family Research Council, NARTH, and anyone else associated with Rekers has quickly erased his presence from their websites, exactly what the Colorado New Life church did to poor Ted Haggard. Christian "forgiveness" obviously does not apply to gays.

And while I'm not about to start debating the morals of prostitutes, one thing is obvious: they are who they say they are. But the poor rent boy didn't know what he was getting into with this character. Rent boys of the future should ask their prospective clients for a resume.

Moral: Before you go on a website to hire a rent boy, talk to Ted.

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