UPDATE 12/3: Elan Gale revealed on his Twitter account on Monday night that his supposed airplane feud with Diane was, in fact, all a ruse.
PREVIOUSLY: This extremely passive-aggressive airplane feud is one for the ages.
It took place on Thanksgiving Day between a middle-aged woman known as "Diane" and a righteously-indignant TV producer, Elan Gale, who live-tweeted the entire hilarious, maddening encounter as it happened.
The saga began when the US Airways flight to Phoenix was delayed at takeoff:
Our flight is delayed. A woman on here is very upset because she has Thanksgiving plans. She is the only one obviously. Praying for her
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
She's telling the flight attendants that it is Thanksgiving. She wants them to know she wants to have dinner with her family
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
The male flight attendant said "I understand ma'am. I'm looking forward to seeing my family too." She responded "This isn't about you"
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
Her family is very important to her, she says. Her family has a special recipe for stuffing. She needs to be there to help. It is crucial
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
She has a connecting flight. Why doesn't anyone understand she has a connecting flight? Why do people not understand her needs?
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
"Today is Thanksgiving! I'm supposed to be with my family. NOT with you people I barely know!"
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
She had to sit down because we took off. She has been muttering "about DAMN time" and I can hear her breathing from 5 rows back
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I sent the lady a glass of wine and a note pic.twitter.com/GttnmQI25P
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
She's pushing her call button a lot
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
The male flight attendant is giving me the "let's just pretend this never happened" face. Shaking his head a lot
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
He gave me two little bottles of vodka but he won't hand them to her. He says I have to do it myself
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I'm going to do it
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
Oh my God I did it I walked as if I was going to the bathroom and I leaned over and put them on her tray table and walked away Oh my God
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
She just stared at me like REALLY hard. She was breathing through her teeth and I think she just couldn't believe I was doing that
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I'm not going to lie I am shaking this is so terrifying she is so angry at me it's kind of incredible
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I don't really know what to do now I'm afraid to get out of my seat. This is like being on a roller coaster I'm scared and super excited
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
The male flight attendant just handed me a note from 7A
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
From 7A pic.twitter.com/OEaCWw5mz3
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
This means war
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
Well I don't know what I'm going to so next but I've got two hours left on this flight and I'm going to retaliate
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
Diane is in her late 40s or early 50s. She is wearing mom jeans and a studded belt and she is wearing a medical mask over her idiot face
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I cannot believe there are "Diane" apologists in this world. You're with me or you're against me!
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I'm writing a note as we speak
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I'm considering balling it up and putting it in my mouth and spitting it into her tray table as I walk by but I haven't decided yet
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I just walked by her and said "I'll be back shortly." Then I stopped and took this picture and smiled at her pic.twitter.com/dNWMMXE2cc
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I have delivered the note
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
My response to "Diane" in 7A pic.twitter.com/cRN2togLdq
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I can hear her breathing
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
Diane has responded #TeamElan #7A #DianeCanEatMyD pic.twitter.com/vYFyGtGMZl
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I am working on my response at the moment
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
Diane has received yet another note from me. She does not look pleased #7A #TeamElan #DianeCanEatMyD
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
My final (I think) note to Diane in 7A pic.twitter.com/SLrOug9U4d
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I have landed in Phoenix. No sight of authorities yet
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
Well, "Diane" just slapped me
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
When I got off the plane I waited for her at the gate. I was holding another note in my hand and I was going to give it to her
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
She walked right up to me and slapped me immediately in the face
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
The gate agent for the next flight actually grabbed her and held her back. He asked me if I wanted to have the airport police come over
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I said no
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
She turned to the gate agent and said "Am I going to make my flight to Sacramento?"
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
He said "no"
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I laughed. And then the gate agent said "Are you sure you don't want to talk to the police? You can if you want to"
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
And I said "No. It's okay. I understand. But I do have a note for her." And I handed it to her and I walked away
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
The note said...
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
"Diane, allow me to introduce myself. I am TheYearOfElan..."
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
"Look me up online. Read every tweet. Read every response. And maybe next time you'll be nice to people who are just trying to help"
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
Elan, you are our Thanksgiving hero.
