Nothing brings people together more than a mutual disgust for co-workers’ crappy office etiquette. (Does the new guy from IT really need to bring his microwaved salmon and broccoli into the all-hands meeting? Would it kill Karen from marketing to courtesy flush?)
Misery loves company at any company. Here are 27 relatable tweets about the struggle to work with other people.
I have a coworker who calls her computer The Machine.
— Flyin’ Brian J (@FlyinBrianJ) January 15, 2019
“I can’t get The Machine to find what I’m looking for.”
Office etiquette: Don't whistle or sing along to the radio and I won't throw a stapler at your head.
— L(assitude) (@lmwortho) April 4, 2017
There's a guy eating in the office bathroom, which is cool because I didn't need to eat today or any day for the rest of my life.
— Spencer Robinson (@13spencer) October 10, 2014
The hardest part about being at a new job is not getting into arguments. A coworker will be like “im a flat-earther” and you just have to be like “cool so how was ur weekend”
— Kody Audette (@kodeeezzzy) January 28, 2019
I’m in a Cold War with some stranger in my office bathroom over who can sit longest in a stall waiting for the other person to leave so they can finally shit. I loathe her, but dammit I respect her.
— maggie mull (@infinitesimull) October 12, 2018
What is the phone number to call if you have a coworker who keeps singing the baby shark song ?
— Andrew Freiden (@AndrewNBC12) January 25, 2019
(It’s @AnthonyNBC12 )
Hell is having to be around a coworker who has the opposite sense of humor as you while he shows you shitty memes for 5 hours. I am in hell
— Cameron (@Cameron_H93) January 26, 2019
Bro, I was in the restroom at work and one of my white coworkers comes in and says "that MLK sure was something."
— D'Angelo Russell Stan Account (@DevinFromThe7) January 21, 2019
Bruh.
When a coworker asked me to close for her bc she took nyquil & i agreed, convinced she was about to pass out at any moment, but then she went out that night and had the nerve to talk about it the next day https://t.co/tetO9ychco
— Audrey Mannerberg (@AudMannerberg) January 28, 2019
The hierarchy of jerk-ish workplace behavior is as follows...
— CoreyRadio (@CoreyRadio) January 29, 2019
1. Stealing someone’s lunch
2. Taking the last of the coffee and not making a new pot
3. Not resetting the timer on the microwave
If you do any of these things I hope you fall running full speed.
I have a coworker who might not understand how email works because every time he sends me one he immediately gets up, walks the 15 yards from his office to mine, and says "I sent you an email." Then he tells me what the email he sent me says.
— Melissa Mann (@PhantomRat) January 29, 2019
If I walk into the bathroom at work one more time to a coworker taking selfies or boomerangs in the mirror, I’m quitting my job.
— Jennifer Bennett (@Jenniiiiiiferr) January 29, 2019
It’s 8:28 am, a crisp 32° and I just listened to a coworker detail her dogs slow death after getting hit by a car
— erinnn (@bigEzzle) January 30, 2019
Happy Wednesday let’s get this retirement
There is no greater hell in this world than when a coworker recognizes your shoes under the bathroom stall & strikes up a conversation.
— Dan Aaron King (@DanAaronKing) January 23, 2019
Overheard a coworker with a stuffy nose say “Do you like creamy cheeses?” and I immediately handed in my resignation.
— matt prindle (@GriefBison) January 25, 2019
Office etiquette question: person beside me has been sniffing constantly for an hour. Do I offer a tissue? Or just seethe until home time?
— Jen Crothers (@jenofcroths) December 1, 2016
A good invisalign commercial would be me uncomfortably brushing my teeth/flossing in an office bathroom while in a nearby stall a man who is completely out of breath takes a shit.
— ZacOyama (@ZacOyama) June 6, 2018
You can’t swipe left on a coworker’s face no matter how annoying they are.
— Jurisdoc (@jurisdoc741) January 27, 2019
all company onboarding should include a segment about open-office etiquette
— ntaylour (@dijkstracula) June 3, 2016
"do you take a loud & lengthy skype meeting at your desk N/N"
my coworker is sitting at her desk eating spoonfuls of honey from a jar. she said to me “mmm this is the best honey I’ve had in awhile” but I refuse to engage
— khal ponyo (@jessica) January 25, 2019
it’s 10:45 am and my coworker has been talking to me about the dumbass pyramid scheme he’s in for 2 hours straight trying to get me to join
— t dog (@jetpaaack) January 29, 2019
some guy was taking a shit in the restroom at work and dropped his phone in the toilet and yelled “GOD DAMNIT RIGHT IN THE SHIT” i’m so done with today lmao
— vincentmanuel (@vincentmanuel_) January 23, 2019
my coworker: good morning!
— alexa (@playnikes) January 22, 2019
me w airpods in:
Just saw either a kernel of corn or a tooth sitting in the office bathroom sink. Either way I don't feel great about it.
— Joanna Borns (@robotics) August 30, 2017
people who take their open beverages into the office bathroom with them: why?????????
— sara david (@SaraQDavid) August 15, 2018
Open office etiquette:
— ⣝⣵⡎⣵⢗⣿⣫⢗⡎⣵ (@zarawesome) January 21, 2019
1. never speak out loud, ever
Worst coworker is "Let me tell you about my weekend on Monday morning" coworker
— Beyonce has an uncle named Larry Beyince. Bruh.... (@DragonflyJonez) November 18, 2013
