Oh man. It's been one of those weeks. Your kiddo is sick, you haven't gotten more than three hours of sleep in as many nights and you can barely remember the last time you showered. You are at the complete beck and call of a tiny human who only knows that they don't feel good and that sleep is for suckers.
At your lowest, most tired, weakest point, the question pops into your mind: "Are kids are worth it?"
Your time is no longer your own and you pretty much always take second priority. All you want is 30 minutes to sit and do nothing, but the house needs to be cleaned, laundry needs to get done, groceries need to be bought, and plants need to be watered. Is the question lingering in the back of your thoughts?
You and your partner feel more and more like passing ships in the night and you feel disconnected. You miss them, but don't know how to fix it. And when you do get some spare time you kind of just want to go to bed early. Hmmmmm . . . are kids worth this?
You are balancing your bank account at the end of the month, wondering where the heck all of your money went to, and again the question pops into your mind.
So, are kids worth it? For me, the answer is always, always, always YES.
I've never been more tired in my entire life. But guess what? I've also never felt more alive. My kids are now my main reason for getting up and trying to be the very best version of me every single day. Sometimes I fall short, sometimes I get overwhelmed. That's normal. It passes. And I get a chance to try twice as hard the next day. Kids are forgiving that way.
My life has changed completely, yet never has it been filled with so much joy. Every little accomplishment and milestone fills you with pride and makes you smile so wide that you feel like your face might crack. Seeing your baby's proud half smile and determined look when they take their first steps. Hearing them use a word correctly for the first time. Them giving you a random hug. Their hilarious dance moves and sweet little singing voice. As they say, these are a few of my favourite things . . .
There are times when I do miss my hubby and just want a night alone with him to do whatever the heck we want. But, I also have never felt as close to him as I do when I watch him with our daughter. When he makes her giggle harder than anyone else can. When I hear him calmly explaining something about nature to her. The way she lights up when he asks her if she wants to go on a wagon ride. And the way he shares his Popsicle with her, when he sure as hell wouldn't share with me. Date nights may be fewer and farther between, but a little bit of effort goes a long way and our relationship has grown into something deeper and more enduring.
Yep -- I definitely have less money floating around. And yet, my life feels richer than ever before. And I'll let you in on a secret: your kids would rather spend time with you than alone playing with the most expensive toys and gadgets. Also, your kids don't care if you're rocking the latest fashion or your favorite 10 year old t-shirt. There are so many things you can do with your kids that cost nothing or very little. Make the small things matter when they're young and it's those same small things that will continue to matter as they grow. Time with you doesn't cost a thing and it's the memories that you make that will stay with them forever.
I totally understand that kids aren't for everyone. And that's okay. But they are definitely for me -- every day of the week, every minute of the day. Now to make sure that they know I feel that way.