THE BLOG

Are You a We or a Me?

I have a dream that as more and more people wake up from their own narcissistic slumber they'll start showing up for each other, someday the "wes" will outnumber the "mes."
04/05/2016 02:55pm ET | Updated April 6, 2017
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Couple hugging in empty warehouse with red heart made of balloons

There are two types of people in this world, those who make you feel really good about yourself and those who leave you feeling left out in the cold. Those who make you feel really good acknowledge your birthday, your good work, and even your smile. They ask you questions and listen to your answers. Then there are those who unconsciously make you feel small. They don't listen, and they don't seem to care.

Every day we meet and interact with these two types of individuals, the "me's" and the "we's." Which one do you tend to be?

Consider the following:

● Me is exclusive.
● We is inclusive.
● Me judges.
● We acknowledges.
● Me is insecure.
● We is confident.

Are You a We or a Me?

The truth is, you are both. Throughout the day you vacillate between being completely self-absorbed and recognizing the goodness in all living beings.

When you show up in the now, the present moment, you effortlessly operate from a "we" state. You're aware of who's around you and what they need. When you're busy or stressed, you get caught in the "me" state, unable to listen to, connect with, or acknowledge others.

● Me is self-interested.
● We is curious and compassionate.
● Me boasts about personal success.
● We shares the wealth.
● Me is a solo traveler.
● We is a team player.

The good news is that it's fairly simple to snap yourself out of "me" and point yourself in the direction of "we." To do this, ask yourself this simple question throughout the day: Am I a we or a me?

Ask it while getting ready in the morning, in line at the coffeeshop, as you head into your first meeting, when navigating the merge in traffic, when you're hungry, when your mother calls. This question will stop you in your tracks, especially if you're consumed with how much you have to do and how much more important your stuff is than everyone else's is.

"Am I a we or a me?" is like a quick litmus test. You don't even need to answer the question. Oftentimes, just asking it is enough to snap you out of your closed up, self-important state.

Here's what I learned from examining my own tendencies:

● As a we, I am a good listener.
● As a me, I interrupt or get restless.
● As a we, I am fearless and abundant.
● As a me, I am scared and scarce.
● As a we, I feel content.
● As a me, I feel fragmented and unsettled.

You don't really want to be a "me," no one does. You don't want to appear self-absorbed or too busy for others, but sometimes it happens. I get it. I'm a "me" sometimes too. At the end of the day, being a "me" is not that much fun, and it makes life messy. Too much "me" and not enough "we" isn't good for the world.

Here's how you can do your part:

● Be a good listener.
● See the good in others.
● Let the small stuff go.
● Acknowledge the success of others.
● Compliment others often.
● Include others in your success.
● Ask for help (even if you don't need it).
● Encourage others to follow their dreams.
● Embrace different views.
● Be available for advice.
● Help others shine.

I have a dream that as more and more people wake up from their own narcissistic slumber they'll start showing up for each other, someday the "wes" will outnumber the "mes."