Do you feel a part of you dying inside when you think about or go to work? I did once, and it was worse than terrible.
This is a story about connecting with your highest purpose both professionally and personally. If there is any part of you that is dying inside when you go to work, this could be for you.
I remember being a walking dead guy when I was about 30 with two young sons, and my wife doing her best to raise them while I worked.
But every day I woke up, each time I thought about “suiting up” and going to my office, I felt dead inside. It was as if my life force was getting sucked out of me, but I couldn’t understand it. From the outside looking in, you would think I was on top of the world. I wasn’t.
I was dying inside, and it became my #1 priority to come up with a plan. I needed to find my way, connect with my purpose, use my gifts and find a way to be excited about what I was doing for a living.
Is that too much to ask?
Your Highest Purpose
Your purpose is to find your gift; what you do best at work. To serve, learn and grow is what this is all about. And to focus on giving your gifts away. We all have core skill sets; gifts. We can feel when the work we do gives us energy, or sucks the life out of us. Focus on building this.
When I started exploring and seeking my purpose in 1989, I dove in hard. I read everything I could find, locked onto mentors and attended seminars whenever I could. I just knew there was more to life and I was right. I just had to face my fears.
The hardest part was getting the hell out of my comfort zone. I wanted a better life! I wanted my freedom to wake up and not wear a suit, not go to an office in the corner of a luxury hotel, which was my first career as a sales and marketing guy. I wanted, no, I needed, to build the small business and life of my dreams.
Are you dying at work? I sure hope not. But if you are, there’s hope! Just make a decision right now to get off your butt and take little actions to explore what you’re feeling inside. You can’t lie to yourself! There’s a reason you’re sensing, hearing, feeling what you’re feeling right now. It’s your inner teacher trying to get through to your thick head.
Living A Life of No Regret
Do you want to die with regrets? I don’t. I want to die pursuing my purpose to help others based on my gifts. I was given these gifts to give them away. Same with you. What are you gifts and how can you dig deep and find ways to use them more?
While we read and hear that most people face the end of life with terrible regret, there are plenty of people on Earth who set a wonderful example for living in community, with purpose and meaning. Look at the studies of the people who live in Okinawa, Japan. Their entire life focus in building community, family, lifelong friendships and purpose. And they live a very long time relative to most.
Purpose, meaning, feeling that you’re on the right path, is worth more than all the money and stuff in the world. Purpose and meaning lead to joy, gratitude and being of service. This is why when we make tons of money performing work with little or no personal meaning, we start to die. It’s why a billionaire who loses billions jumps in front of a train. He may have buckets of money, but no meaning beyond it. Tragic, huh?
Don’t get trapped in the delusion this is how life must be; big money, stuff, power, nice suits, cufflinks. Maybe you can “have it all.” But most can’t. Instead, we make tradeoffs. We wait, in fear.
Why sacrifice today for what might be tomorrow? More of us are learning more about living in the now. There’s a reason, just like there’s a reason you’re reading this article right now. There are no accidents! Wake up if you’re asleep. It’s time to go.
Screw Walking Deadness
How many people do you know who are among the walking dead? What do you tell them when they share how miserable they are? Because if you can find yourself shifting your awareness about where you are in your journey, you may find other people sharing more of their stories with you.
There’s a reason for this also. The Universe is bringing people to serve as guides, examples and protectors to help you face your fears and do what you really want to do with the rest of your life.
This is a typical conversation after someone reads my articles on purpose, finding meaning and building a kick ass life ...
I ask, “What’s happening in your work, business and life these days?”
You say, “I’m making great money, I have a steady job, respect, a family who loves me, but something is missing. I don’t know what. Do you know why?”
“No, but you do. Tell me more about what you really want,” I say.
You’ll say, “I’m not sure. What should I do?”
I share, “Start asking better questions, learn to make quiet time, starting listening to your “inner teacher” and make notes. Yes, make notes early in the morning when you first wake up.”
You may think at this point I am crazy, but I will go on to tell you, “Learning to listen by getting quiet helped me face my greatest fear, overcome the temporary insanity I experienced, literally, when my soul was dying at work.”
“How do I start?,” you ask.
I ask, “How about if I give you my ‘Return On Life’ assessment and see how you feel about the ten, most critical elements of your life and work today?”
You ask, “What the hell is that?”
I explain, “It’s a simple, 10-question assessment and you give each of the ten questions a value of 1-10, 10 being you are on fire with say, your income, or net worth, or family, but your health is in the gutter and your spirit is shot. You’ve got bank, and no spirit? We can fix this.”
This is how it happens when I write articles like this. People say to themselves, “I’m dead when I go to work. I don’t know why, exactly, but I have nothing left.”
How Ready Are You?
You ready to go after what you want? I mean what do you really want, next for your career, business or life? Desire is not the root of all evil. To me, it is the source of all great things you can create for your work and your life starting right now. If you get off your butt and take action. Do something if you’re dying inside! Surely if you were in a burning building, you would run, right? You’d get help.
I had a lot of help, also, which was crucial, especially from my wife. That makes all the difference in the world! Plus, especially today now that I have built the small businesses and life of my dreams, it’s time for me to give back what was so freely given to me by so many others; my family, friends, teachers, coaches, mentors, horrendous past bosses, and many, amazing past leaders and bosses.
How to Find “It.”
What do you want now? Follow these three, initial steps to get started finding “it,” what you really want for your work, business or life ...
- Believe in yourself. You have a reason for being here. Lock onto it by taking action. This is the Biology of Belief; in you!
- Learn to get quiet inside. Learn to be still, journal, talk with yourself and contemplate the biggest questions you hear yourself asking. You’re asking these questions for a reason. Make this a daily practice at morning or night. There is great power in this practice of learning to still the mind. You could even learn to meditate. It changed my life.
- Set strong intentions. Intend to change your life! Intention is a key driver for your future. Use it. Write a descriptive statement, your “I Am …” that describes in detail your dream life. Ask yourself, “What will it take to feel more connected with meaning and purpose in my work?
- Be grateful for everything. Including the deadness or darkness you may feel inside. This is your inner teacher and now you are on your way to “tuning in” and listening. Same for challenges; opportunities.
Start here. Go! Get out of your comfort zone and take the next forward action. Don’t be drastic and put yourself or family at risk. But take the steps you feel you can take without freaking out or blowing up your income or job. Intend to create a new plan.
Just start here, now. Promise yourself that you will set bold, new intentions and develop new habits. Find a mentor, hire a coach, get off your butt!
Fire up your journal. Get back to exercising. Stop pouring buckets of booze in the there, or whatever you do to numb the pain like I did.
You don’t have to look in as many dark places as I did. Your actions don’t have to be extreme, such as selling everything you own and moving to an ashram in a far-away place. But if you do go around the world, you will likely return a different person. If you go inside long enough, you can find what you need there.
Purpose is a powerful force. Without purpose, we are dead inside. With purpose, we can live on fire. A fire in the belly that is so motivating your alarm clock will become a thing of the past, your joy will soar, your health will shine, you will smile and attract exactly what your Karma is attracting every single moment of every day.
You have to believe in yourself and trust the Universe to guide you! Learn to trust this. Believe.
Don’t settle for less if you relate to any of this. Consider this a message and tell yourself, “It’s time to take action and connect with my highest purpose. I am ready, now.”
P.S. If you want a free copy of my “Return On Life Index” and assessment, just ask. It’s not fancy. It doesn’t cost anything. And if you like it, maybe we can talk about how it changed my life.