Is there really a cutoff for sexy? Is there an age where you're no longer considered beautiful anymore? We see celebrities chasing their youth when their faces no longer move or they don't look like themselves. Instead of saying how hard it is for female celebrities to age gracefully or judging what procedures they do, I just want us to get REAL.
All women that I know are conscious of the way they look. Even I have felt like I should buy makeup that's got the age-defying-you'll-trick-nature-and-stop-time serum. Who are we trying to impress, men or women? Many of my friends talk about themselves in a negative light, be it their body or how old they look. They range from their twenties up into their fifties. I wish they could see how beautiful they are. I tease them that they're going to look back when they're in their eighties and think, Look at that sexy little thing! I'll be saying, "TOLD YA SO!" I'll shout because we'll be hard of hearing and I'll be trying to make a point.
I realized how flawed my own perceptions were when I looked back at my high school pictures. I remember being 110 lbs. and feeling like a plain, fat, dork. I was beautiful. I was so damn cute with my long, dark hair and freckles. I know I am beautiful now. I don't need to take a magazine quiz or verify it through a unanimous poll with the world. I choose to believe this for myself and think every woman is beautiful. I take it as my responsibility now to younger woman to teach what I've learned.
We all have unwritten rules on aging passed down by our parents, or feel we still need to go along with our peer group, even as we get older. My friend's mother told her you can't have long hair after 40. Reminds me of watching Alexis on "Dynasty" as a kid, where beauty after age 40 was about being sophisticated, glamorous and classy. Then we saw women over 40 totally differently with "Sex and the City," "Desperate Housewives" and "Real Housewives" shows. The latter aren't like housewives I know here in Jersey. I do think you can pull off looking hip if you don't look like you're trying too hard. You just gotta own it. Look at Betsey Johnson, she's 70. The vibe she gives off is playful and forever fun at heart. She does spunky and funky well. I don't believe that fashion rule: If you wore it the first time, you can't wear it the second time the trend comes around. I value people who are unabashedly themselves.
Being put together and smiling, along with being silly and kind, have always been some of my mom's secrets to looking good. Accessories were also a must. As a kid, I'd put on her size-of-a-dinner plate earrings, 20 necklaces and get into her Estee Lauder makeup kit. I rocked that teal eye shadow and fuchsia lipstick like nobody's business. I'm such am '80s lover that I actually wore the sequined sweater I'd bought for a Halloween costume a couple years ago recently. My husband says he'll burn it, but I love it. I feel like I belong in the Carrington mansion back in the day.
I watch my gorgeous mother aging gracefully, like fine wine, a classic car, vintage jewelry. You see who she is on her face. Her inner Light shines through. As you get older, who you are shows through. Your personality is seen on your face. Women like my mother that make getting older look fabulous are Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep, Susan Sarandon and Lauren Hutton. I've always loved being around older women, even as a child. They seemed smarter, wiser, more confident. There was this serenity about them. I know they're not all like this, but I've known lots of amazing women. My family is full of them. They're gracefully vintage. Those are my rock stars in life.
Always do what works best for you, but when you get carried away, people see the work you've had done, not you. Do you want them to see your facelift, too-tight forehead, high eyebrows, overly-plump lips or that your face has no expression? I know there are celebs that get procedures done and we'd never know it. They just look refreshed. Just be careful. Don't go overboard. You can't undo it. ou want people to still recognize you.
Ask yourself... are you a vintage car, regal and timeless? Or are you an old clunker who's seen better days? Your choice. It has nothing to do with anyone else or any magic potion. Your attitude is your fountain of youth. Having a passion is key too. These are better than any expensive cream in the world. Love your current face. Take care of yourself, mind, body and spirit. A perfect example of this is Mariel Hemingway. I follow her on Instagram and saw her on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday. She makes you want to do yoga 24-7, cause she looks so damn good and HAPPY!
What if took all this stupid shit off the table? WOW, we could put our energy into so many great things if we, as women, accepted ourselves and knew we were good enough in every way, regardless of cellulite, wrinkles or mistakes, or what any other woman on the planet looks like or is doing. No comparing and no competition. My mission is about walking my talk with this one.
Speak about yourself the way you want your daughter to SEE herself.
Yeah, you have that power. Do as I say, not as I do is baloney. They learn from us. Our judgment about ourselves and other women is how we teach the next generation to be. I want to remind women that their beauty is ageless. Don't try holding onto what was. ust be you. Rock what you got!
Fierce sweater, right?