Sleep impacts basically every aspect of our lives. Quality (and quantity) of shuteye keeps our mind and body in working order, and also plays an integral role in the success of our relationships. After all, irritability and crankiness from a lack of sleep aren’t exactly attractive qualities in a partner.
“If two people are feeling drained and worn down, they’re much less likely to respond to each other with caring support and love,” says Dr. Lee Land, a licensed psychologist based in Austin. “Without a doubt, sleep deprivation can lead to stress, tension and conflict in relationships.”
However, in addition to racking up those Zs, experts say what you and your sweetie do before bed can impact your relationship, too. We’ve teamed up with Sleep Number and consulted sleep and relationship professionals to find out how the most common bedtime habits of couples affect relationships.
And, let’s not forget about getting freaky in those sheets. Getting down with your partner is, obviously, one of the best ways to connect in the bedroom. “Many couples I work with are either too caught up with their phones or books, don’t feel motivated enough to have sex, or may be ‘holding out’ on their partner because of unresolved conflict,” says Melody Li, licensed couples therapist and relationship specialist. While some couples oftentimes feel self-conscious about the frequency of their sessions, it’s worth noting that the happiest couples are those who have sex exactly as often as they want to get it on. “Sex itself can be healing to the relationship and can remind partners that they are working together as a team,” Li says.
The solution? Li recommends that couples agree to put phones away an hour or two before dozing off. Instead, use that time to debrief about the day and focus on each other.
But, not all experts agree. “Chances are, the issue will not be resolved before both people become too sleepy to be productive,” Li says. “The heightened tension will lead to tossing and turning, which results in a cranky morning.” Her suggestion? Save the difficult conversations for when both people are calm, rested, and ready to talk through solutions.
Sleep Number® beds are designed with couples in mind. Sleep Number® is committed to helping couples get their best possible sleep by creating beds that adjust on each side to your ideal level of firmness, comfort and support—your Sleep Number® setting. Add our DualTemp™ layer to heat or cool each side of the bed, and you can both sleep exactly the way you like.
