Art world romance alert!
He's older -- ancient, actually -- stable, solid and not going anywhere, ever, at all. Because this dreamy life partner is a full on rock, as in a naturally occurring solid aggregate of minerals or mineraloids. Just when you thought all the good ones were being used for doorstops ...
When pressed for details on her mysterious new lover, Emin couldn't help but gush to Post Magazine. "The whole thing with the stone is -- it's a big fucking stone, right," she said. "It's in my garden, it's very nice and very impressive and I like it a lot. [Sigh.] The other thing about the stone is that it could be quite monstrous and scary. Instead I saw it as a protection thing as opposed to a fearful thing. The other thing with the stone is it's not going anywhere. Even if there's the biggest fucking tsunami in the whole fucking world, the stone will probably still stay there."
You hear that, ladies? After your so-called loyal partners shrivel up and die like the mortal beings they are, Emin's eternal love will live on and on. She expanded on what the relationship means to her in her interview with The Art Newspaper, saying, "It just means that at the moment I am not alone; somewhere on a hill facing the sea, there is a very beautiful ancient stone, and it’s not going anywhere. It will be there, waiting for me."
Never let go, rock. Never let go. Cheers to one of the greatest living contemporary artists for finally finding love. May you serve as an inspiration to all the other brilliant single women out there just trying to find something hard and jagged to cuddle up with at night. And to the rest of you ladies, don't get too jealous. There are plenty more stones on the ground.
But for real though, Tracey, we salute you. You are an exceptional artist and independent thinker and any inanimate object would be lucky to call you a wife. Keep fighting the patriarchy and marrying things.