The following letter was written by an audience member who, it is alleged, caused Itzak Perlman to pause before raising his baton to conduct the LA Philaharmonic in the Second Movement (Andante cantabile, con alcuna licenza - Non allegro - Andante maestoso con piano ) of Tchaikovsky's Symphony No. 5.
Dear Maestro Perlman:
I write to right the record on the apparently boorish behavior of my wife and myself at your 11 AM, Friday, January 15, appearance with the Los Angeles Philharmonic at Disney Concert Hall. Specifically, I wish to apologize and explain the reason for our departure from the Hall following the first movement of Tchaikovsky's Fifth Symphony.
In brief, the LA Philharmonic website, where we purchased our not-inexpensive Front Orchestra seats, stated that the entire program would consume roughly 1 hour and 15 minutes. http://www.laphil.com/tickets/itzhak-perlman/2016-01-15 Adding a 20% premium for doubtlessly well-deserved ovations and a necessary, if not necessarily well-deserved, rest stop, we believed you would bring home the bacon, or its Kosher equivalent, at or about 12:30 PM. Accordingly, we scheduled a 1 PM lunch with individuals whose names are so big in Los Angeles that I cannot spell them.
When by 12:35 PM, five minutes after the people in Disney's front office had represented the concert would conclude, you had reached only the "aik" in Tchaikovsky, we were faced with the choice of a second movement or a first course. We opted for the latter.
As a corollary matter, I must note that we paid a not-unpretty penny for hearing what amounted to five-eighths of a Perlman concert. Under normal circumstances, we would simply have taken the loss and moved on. However, as you may be aware, on the day of the concert the Dow Jones Industrial Average lost 390 points. Given that unhappy coincidence, we feel we are entitled to a little "consideration," as our Perlman-related loss was not attributable to anything resembling an ill-conceived investment in pork bellies, or their Kosher equivalent. Accordingly, we ask that you kindly remit three-eighths of the price of our extraordinarily well-located seats as soon as possible, although we are willing to wait a reasonable time for you to obtain top dollar for your Soil Strad.
I hope we can put this unfortunate event behind us, as I'm certain that you hope to see us on many future occasions, perhaps even at a concert.
Regards and thanks for sharing your extraordinary talent with us and the rest of the world.
Los Angeles, CA