It seems that there is FINALLY something that reasonably minded Republicans and Democrats can agree upon. Donald J. Trump is, in fact, a sexist ass-hat. The fact that it's taken the leaked #TrumpTapes is somewhat discouraging, but we'll leave that for another day. Republicans are now publicly pulling their support from Trump and many are actually encouraging him to resign from the top of the ticket (yeah, that's not going to happen).
Many a statement has been released condemning Trump's boasts of infidelity and sexual assault. In addition to the rebuke of Trump's actions, almost all the expressions of outrage have began with some version of the same line: "As a father of daughters..." For many, it is now proving to be impossible to justify supporting a man who objectifies and takes advantage of women while simultaneously raising daughters who respect and advocate for themselves. This is good. This is right. And those who have made these statements deserve to be commended for putting family above their Party.
But what about those of us who are the fathers of sons? What is our response to be in light of the words and actions of Trump? What kind of world are we helping to create for our sons by allowing Trump to continue on and perhaps be elected President of these United States?
Some have defended Trump's remarks by saying really ignorant things like, "that's how all guys talk." Some have gone further and suggested that women actually gravitate toward that type of behavior. It has been asserted by some that this latest leak from Trump is just an example of "boys will be boys." Incredibly enough, there are even members of the faith community either defending or refusing to condemn what has been caught on video. Trump's former campaign manager compared Trump's manner of speaking to the way we might speak around the dinner table. And before we go any further, let's just be clear. This is not how all guys talk. The language Trump used on the video is reserved for one category of man: The Deplorables. As a father of boys, the way Trump's behavior is being justified scares the ever-loving hell out of me. And if for no other reason, this is why the prospect of a Trump presidency makes me wake up in cold sweats.
My boys are young. Just (almost) 5 and (just turned!) 2. And even at their young age, they know this to be true: women are to be treated with respect, dignity, and honor. Believe me when I tell you that they have learned this lesson and they put it into practice. Zachary currently insists on holding the door open for every. single. person that is within about 10 feet of him. Josh has taken up the habit of picking his mother flowers and presenting them in an all-too-dramatic manner. They are sensitive, they are compassionate, and at the same time, they are big, they are strong, and they are all boy.
My boys are young, but they are getting older. And voices other than mine and their mom's are starting to get into their head. These voices include those they hear on CNN. By the time the next presidential election cycle rolls around, Zachary will be in 4th grade. As one who is around 4th and 5th graders all day every day I can definitively say that they know what's happening with this election. In 2024, eight years from now, we will have an eight grader and a 5th grader. Simply put, the next president will serve as the voice for our nation for the formative years of my boys. As a father of boys, I shudder at the thought of that voice being one who calls women "pigs," brags about cheating on his wife, and boasts about his ability to commit sexual assault and get away with it.
But, of course, it goes further than Trump. The bigger question is how do we stamp out sexism and rape culture from the collective psyche of our society? Ultimately, my worry is not Donald Trump. He's going to lose. Probably badly. He's an ass-hat and a terrible politician. He will soon be a blip on the radar of American politics. My bigger concern is all those who actually believe what Trump says and does is acceptable and even normal.
Rape Culture is real. If the Trump campaign has made anything evident, it is this. It's out there, and it seduces our son's with promises of prestige and power.
Dads of boys, let's be real. We know how we want to raise our sons. We teach them love, respect, humility, grace, and that true strength does not come from being a bully. The story of Donald Trump and the #TrumpTapes will soon after the election fade into the noisy background that is the internet and the 24-hour news cycle. But for women (and men) across the country, the struggle that the #TrumpTapes has brought to light will still remain very real. And that ultimately is why this story matters.