19 Awesome Parenting Quotes From Ashton Kutcher

The actor and his wife, MIla Kunis, have a son and daughter.
Ashton Kutcher, seen here in January 2017, knows a thing or two about being a dad.
Frazer Harrison via Getty Images
Ashton Kutcher, seen here in January 2017, knows a thing or two about being a dad.

Ashton Kutcher does not shy away from talking about fatherhood. The actor and his wife, actress Mila Kunis, have two children ― Wyatt Isabelle and Dimitri Portwood.

Since becoming a dad, Kutcher has opened up in interviews, speeches and even online petitions about the experience of raising a baby ― from diaper duty to Easter Bunny talk.

In honor of his birthday, we’ve compiled some of his standout parenting quotes. Keep scrolling for Kutcher’s heartfelt thoughts, wisdom and hilarity.

On how parenthood changes your life

“You think you know how much you can love another person, and then you have a child and you realize you didn’t know. It’s infinitely rewarding.”

On admiring his wife as a mom

“The most amazing thing about having a baby is my partner, Mila. She’s the greatest mom. I go to work every day, and I come home and she’s perfect. And it just seems like everything went amazing. And I know that something probably didn’t go amazing, but she never tells, it’s unbelievable. She’s incredible.”

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On realizing newborns can’t do much

“It’s like getting a new cell phone where all the features don’t work yet. It’s like a phone that won’t take pictures, and you’re like, ‘Why won’t my phone take pictures?’ And it won’t make calls and it doesn’t do a lot, but it looks really cute.”

On not congratulating himself for basic parenting

I thought I was awesome because I got up early and helped with the kids before she woke up, and I let her sleep a little bit. And then she’s like, ‘Well, now you’re gonna act tired? I do it every day.’ But it was a character moment, right? Because she’s right!”

On choosing not to hire help for child care

“We just want to know our kid. We want to be the people that know what to do when the baby’s crying to make the baby not cry anymore. We want to know, like, when she makes a little face or something, we want to be emotionally in touch with her.”

On changing diapers as a dad

“As a new dad, I recently learned an unfortunate reality about changing diapers while out in public with a child. Almost all public changing tables are in women’s bathrooms, which makes it nearly impossible to find a table that’s accessible to dads. As crazy as it sounds, many stores don’t give dads the option to change their babies’ diapers... Families are diverse, and it is an injustice to assume it’s only a woman’s job to handle changing diapers. This assumption is gender stereotyping and companies should be supporting all parents that shop at their stores equally ― no matter their gender.”

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On the lessons his kids teach him

“The greatest, greatest lesson in character in my life are my kids. When I had these kids, my wife and I had these kids and we got to share that amazing, amazing, amazing honor, my first response was, I wanted to call my parents and say, ‘I’m sorry, because I never knew how much you loved me.’”

On the difference between a first and second child

“The first one, I almost became a doula. I was reading every book. I was ready. I had like a catcher’s mitt on. This one, I haven’t done anything. I’m like, ‘Well, we didn’t break the first one.’ They’re really durable — that’s what you realize. They don’t break very easily.”

On opening kids’ toys

“You have to have a toolbox just to get it out. We have ruined opening presents for kids. She opens it and then it takes dad like a half hour to cut the plastic swizzle sticks off and break it.”

On buying his daughter’s domain name

“We got the Twitter handle, the Instagram, everything you could possibly... I don’t want a porn site with my daughter’s name on it. It is unacceptable to me. It’s not going to happen.”

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On car seats

“When I was a kid, we were riding in the back of a pickup truck on the wheel well just trying not to fall out. Now, it’s like you’ve got the kids backwards, reverse hold on the choke, and they’re in the car seat like... sucking on their knee... ‘Is she alive?!’ You can’t see. It’s gymnastics having children.”

On gender roles

“I would like my daughter to experience a world where gender doesn’t dictate one’s responsibility or limit one’s opportunity. Having changing tables in men’s rooms is just a tiny step in the process of rectifying legacy gender discrimination. Men who are aware of this bias want to participate equally in the child care process and our society should support that. It’s time to get our hands dirty.”

On having a second child

“How am I gonna run after this one and deal with ― I thought the first one was exhausting in the beginning. I’m a little terrified, to be honest.”

On keeping kids alive

“The first year you spend just trying to keep them alive, and then after that you hit a point where your job is to keep them from killing themselves... She doesn’t realize that that’s a cliff and that can be dangerous. But you think that [babies] would come with instincts around fire and large falls, and they don’t. I don’t understand how prehistoric man lived.”

On choosing a baby name

“You don’t want names of people that remind you of people who used to beat you up. That’s not good.”

Sean M. Haffey via Getty Images

On being a “baby whisperer”

“I have a personal ‘I want to be a hero’ ego thing. It fulfills all of that. Staying home for the first couple weeks, I’ve learned the little things that will calm the baby down. So, I feel like I’m a baby whisperer now. I like to give the baby to my friends and let it cry for a second and be like, ‘Let me just take this.’ Any sort of hero fantasy I have is completely satiated.”

On the Easter Bunny

“We had a legitimate conversation as to whether or not we’re going to go down that path. We think we’re going Santa Claus, but we don’t know about the bunny. It’s tough! It’s like, why is the bunny laying eggs? ‘Mommy, does a bunny lay eggs?’ ‘No, but the Easter Bunny does,’ and then it becomes a whole thing and then why were there little Peep chicken things?”

On his daughter’s dance skills

“She likes to whip and nae nae. She does! I think she thinks she’s doing it... because it’s whippin’ and nae-nae-ing. Mama taught her that.”

On his “number one gig”

“I am Wyatt and Dimitri’s dad... everything else is secondary.”

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