Ass Wi-Fi: Israeli Theme Park Affixes Routers To Donkeys For Roving Internet Connection

Now Your Ass Can Be A Wi-Fi Hotspot
antenna with radio waves of...
antenna with radio waves of...

And you thought your Wi-Fi stunk.

Kfar Kedem, an Israeli theme park specializing in historical reenactments of Talmudic-era Galilee, will make one concession to the present day by attaching Internet routers to several donkeys that rove around the grounds, providing Internet access to parkgoers. The Times of Israel reports that five of the village's 30 donkeys will initially be outfitted with the routers, with the plan to deploy more ass-loaded Wi-Fi in the future if the first run is successful.

Though Kfar Kedem -- which the park's website says is "[i]n the lush hill country of the Galilee, in view of Nazareth and a stone's throw from Sepphoris" -- is an historically-faithful village that aims to take visiters back to the Biblical days ("Ride the rolling hills as Abraham rode them. Take in the scents that Jacob smelled tending Laban's flocks. Hear the words of the prophets as you thresh grain, press oil from fresh olives and wine from fresh grapes. You'll even dress like them!"), the park's owners have apparently deemed it necessary to put Wi-Fi alongside Mordecai.

Entrepreneurs have been getting incredibly innovative with the placement of Wi-Fi routers this year: You may remember the "Homeless Hotspot" controversy at the South by Southwest Festival in March, in which Austin's homeless were used as paid Internet hotspots in an ill-conceived promotion by an attention-hungry startup. Less controversially, New York City recently announced that unused phone booths around the metropolis would be converted into Wi-Fi hotspots, while a public park in Mexico City recently gave away free minutes of Wi-Fi based on the amount of discarded dog poop dumped into the park's trashcans on any given day.

Wi-Fi access comes in all different sorts of shapes and sizes, then, and if one of those shapes and sizes is a living, breathing, turn-of-the-millennium Israeli donkey, then so be it. No word on whether the donkey-based Wi-Fi network will be open or secure, though if we had to guess, we'd say that the network will probably require an assword. (Heyo!)

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