Astrological Compatibility and the City

I'll admit it: I have a disorder where I can't stop making fun of people's infatuation with astrology. But you know what? 2017 is the year to listen and learn, so I asked some of my fellow New Yorkers why they hold cosmic chemistry high in regard when it comes to their romantic conquests. See what they said below:

"Why the fuck would you care about anything else?" -Brendan, 27

"Wait, before I answer your question, are you a Gemini? Because I don't even make eye contact with Geminis" -Hannah, 22

"I guess it just boils down to a personality thing, you know? Like, when my ex, Chris, burned my house down because I wouldn't see La La Land with him, I was like, oh my God, you can be such a Scorpio" - Ryan, 25

"It dictates EVERYTHING. I just like to know what I'm getting into so before I even go out with a guy I ask him his star sign so I know which protective amulet to wear on the first date -- I might even add some defensive charms under the guise of earrings just for extra protection" -Zelda, described her age as "depends on the moon cycle"

"I know the day, year, and exact time you were born based on the selections of your combo platter," -my Seamless delivery boy, 22

I say I don't give a shit about it, but I'm a Cancer, so I do. I care about everything too much. Why are you looking at me like that? Do you hate me? Why do you hate me you met me literally 12 seconds ago oh God see now you're making me cry," -Craig, 31

"It's just something I was taught growing up so it stayed with me. My mother was a seer and when I was born my parents wrapped me in a tapestry said to possess generations of our family's magic -- and it's true! I actually died two years ago but since I was wrapped in that tapestry at birth, I can maintain a physical, functioning form even after death anyway I'm sorry what was your question?" -X, ???

"I mean, it's not super important to me, but it does determine how likely I am to break into their bedroom and smell their pillow" -Someone I just called the police on, 36

"I don't know my blood type, but I do know my star sign, I can tell you that. One time I had to get a blood transfusion and the doctor asked me if I knew my blood type and I kept repeatedly screaming "ARIES" and he was like, "THAT DOES NOT HELP ME" -Erik, 30

"I drink to forget about the time I dated this comedian who didn't even know what his rising sign was" -my ex, 29