Another week of “Bachelor” wouldn’t be “Paradise” without spot-on snark, not to mention plenty of intrusive arthropods, a romantic hospital visit, and a major love triangle. Below are 32 tweets that just get it:
When you forget that #BachelorInParadise is on 2 nights a week and then remember pic.twitter.com/bu1vovPZT8
— Shira (@shiraselko) August 17, 2016
"I'm going to give Amanda a self-made date card" may be one of the saddest things ever said. Like in history. #BachelorInParadise
— Andrea Lavinthal (@andilavs) August 16, 2016
If this were a teen movie, Amanda would break up with Josh for making fun of Evan & the whole cafeteria would heckle him.#BachelorInParadise
— Sandra Di (@Sandra_Di_) August 16, 2016
When you wash down your pizza with some Montezuma's revenge water. #BachelorInParadise pic.twitter.com/SnljM6hR6w
— Jill Biden (@JillBidenVeep) August 16, 2016
Christian is a gem. Daniel is an eagle. @sarahherron, I do not envy you. And I envy you.
— CatherineGiudiciLowe (@clmgiudici) August 16, 2016
If I'm Josh, I'm probably retiring white shirts in hot climates for my future packing lists. #BachelorinParadise
— Dana Weiss (@Possessionista) August 16, 2016
Have Amanda and Josh even spoken since he got there? #BachelorInParadise
— Princess Problems (@PrincessProbz) August 16, 2016
My inspiration for tonight's rose ceremony is a combination of 1950s grocery store manage and bible selling Mormon #BachelorInParadise
— Nick Viall (@viallnicholas28) August 16, 2016
My #BachelorInParadise drinking game for tonight: every time I see a crab I will drink a glass of Chardonnay
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) August 16, 2016
This is how I imagine Evan's future. #BachelorInParadise pic.twitter.com/09fKo9H44J
— Jill Biden (@JillBidenVeep) August 16, 2016
Truth: I'd give Caila a date card just to find out how she maintains those beachy waves in humid weather. #BachelorinParadise
— Dana Weiss (@Possessionista) August 16, 2016
Caila's hair has already gotten a rose. #BachelorInParadise
— Jeannie House (@jeanmachine13) August 16, 2016
Caila has an unfair advantage on account of the woodland animals that help her get ready. #BachelorInParadise #BIP
— Ben Flajnik's Hair (@BachelorBenHair) August 16, 2016
Give reality stars a course on slander and defamation of character before they start filming.
— Chris Harnick (@chrisharnick) August 16, 2016
Ashley I. and the Twins. #bachelorinparadise pic.twitter.com/U1s0zj4lS8
— CatherineGiudiciLowe (@clmgiudici) August 17, 2016
That was the first time anyone called Daniel a man without the word "child" immediately following. #BachelorInParadise
— Jill Biden (@JillBidenVeep) August 17, 2016
"Are you interested in having sex?" #BachelorInParadise pic.twitter.com/dYHlNtujv1
— Jaclyn Swartz (@JaclynSwartz) August 17, 2016
Don't blame Daniel for hanging back to eat. Too much food goes to waste on this franchise. #BachelorInParadise pic.twitter.com/RC27P8P56m
— Kristen Baldwin (@KristenGBaldwin) August 17, 2016
Can't tell if I'm watching #BachelorinParadise or Beauty and the Beast. Either way, Josh makes a great Gaston.
— Kate Lambert (@itskatelambert) August 17, 2016
And then when they stop working to become part of #bachelorcult how do they support themselves? Etsy? #yanovels? #BachelorInParadise
— KELLY RYAN OBRIEN (@kellyryanobrien) August 17, 2016
Q: Other than being a Canadian, what do you do?
— Julie Robenhymer (@JulieRobenhymer) August 17, 2016
A: I eat Maple Syrup.
😂😂😂😂😂#BachelorInParadise #ihadtorewindjusttomakesureiheardhimright
We make a mean frozen pizza. #BachelorInParadise
— Bachelor Interns (@BachelorInterns) August 16, 2016
"carly and I are on a date" #BachelorInParadise pic.twitter.com/huKhAZpoRO
— Dana Weiss (@Possessionista) August 17, 2016
I can't believe it took me this long. #BachelorInParadise pic.twitter.com/sNs2bKmRsj
— Andrea Lavinthal (@andilavs) August 16, 2016
The five stages of Carly falling in love with Evan:
— Chris Harrison (@ChrisHandsomeH) August 17, 2016
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance#BachelorInParadise
Maybe there's something there that wasn't there beforeee 💘🎤 @carlywaddell #BachelorInParadise #BIP pic.twitter.com/csrVpQSvOP
— Nat (@kitkatnatjam) August 17, 2016
Josh: "I pray for Andi's happiness."
— Bachelor Burn Book (@bachelorburnbk) August 16, 2016
Somewhere, Andi is like...#BachelorInParadise pic.twitter.com/n0IOsDYYCl
People are being overwhelmingly positive on social media to me. I kind of don't know what to do. #BachelorInParadise
— Evan Bass (@ebassclinics) August 17, 2016
Never had to deal with crabs in my dating life before🤔🦀 #BachelorInParadise
— Jennifer Saviano (@jennifersaviano) August 17, 2016
Amanda and Josh need to go sit with the sexually active band geeks. #BachelorInParadise pic.twitter.com/7nH5PJi187
— Bachelor Burn Book (@bachelorburnbk) August 17, 2016
I like that the local parrots and iguanas and crabs get excited when a new person arrives in paradise. #BachelorinParadise
— (((Joshua Malina))) (@JoshMalina) August 16, 2016
And the #Emmy for Outstanding Visual Metaphor Montage goes to... #BachelorInParadise pic.twitter.com/HdMXEJuYOH
— Kristen Baldwin (@KristenGBaldwin) August 16, 2016
For more on week three of “Bachelor In Paradise,” check out HuffPost’s Here To Make Friends podcast below:
Do people love “The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette” and “Bachelor in Paradise,” or do they love to hate these shows? It’s unclear. But here at “Here to Make Friends,” we both love and love to hate them — and we love to snarkily dissect each episode in vivid detail. Podcast edited by Nick Offenberg and Christine Conetta.
Before You Go
