We all know someone who constantly offers unwanted commentary on our relationships: Still single? "You need to get yourself out there!" Happily coupled up? "It's been a while, are you guys thinking marriage yet?" Newly single after a split? "Don't worry, I'm sure you won't stay single for long!"
They may be well meaning, but their advice is less than constructive -- especially if they're just dishing out relationship cliches we've all heard.
Below, Redditors on the Ask Women thread share the relationship advice they're sick of hearing.
1. "'You're so pretty/smart/nice, why are you single?' Maybe because I want to be single?"
2. "'People get divorced because it's easier than working on the marriage.' Screw that. I worked hard on my marriage, my husband didn't. It takes two people to make a marriage work, and only one for it to fail, and I deserve better than staying in a marriage where the other person straight up does not care."
3. "'Just wait until the honeymoon period is over.' This is usually said because my husband and I are so happy together and people tend to assume that we are still starry-eyed with new love. Nope. We are starry-eyed with a decade of continually growing and expanding love."
4. "'You just really need to be single and alone for a while.' No. First of all, single does not equal alone. Second, I absolutely hate being alone so of course I'm going to surround myself with supportive friends and do fun stuff. Sitting at home alone won't do me any good. I just got out of a long relationship and I've heard this way too much."
5. "When I was getting married it kind of drove me crazy how many people's congratulations cards and in-person congratulations included advice or warnings about what to do when our relationship inevitably gets really difficult. I understand that lots of people go into marriage thinking it's all going to be sunshine and rainbows and happily ever after and it's good to have relationship skills in place, but it really came across as, 'You think this is great now but YOU'LL SEE,' which is not what you want when you're celebrating something. Like, if somebody came to my birthday party and started giving me advice about how to handle all the new wrinkles and age-related health needs I would likely have in this year, that would be pretty weird and borderline rude, you know?"
6. "When I was in a long-distance relationship, if I dared to complain about it, people would tell me 'Don't complain, you knew what you were getting in to.' I knew, yes, but that doesn't make it suck less, and that doesn't mean I don't need support."
7. "That you can fix a broken marriage. My mom took so much crap when she divorced my dad, but it was the best thing she could have done in the situation, and I'm happy she did it."
8. "To anyone under 25: 'Don't worry, when you're older you'll feel silly for ever falling in love at this age!' or 'You're so young, you have plenty of time to find someone new.' Whether or not these things are true, they add absolutely nothing productive to the conversation."
9. "It will happen when you least expect it.' Well, screw that. I've spent 29 years focusing on me and though my life is great, a magical unicorn has yet to fall onto my lap. Everything in my life that is amazing I've gotten through hard work and actual effort so I'm going to do the same and actually actively date (online dating, being more social, asking guys out, etc.) It annoys me that we are actively told to pursue everything in life (career, education, practicing instrument/sport, etc) -- but with dating, apparently sitting pretty is enough. Well, it isn't -- for me, anyway."
10. "I recently got engaged on my 7th anniversary. When I told people, most said something along the lines of 'It's about time he asked you!' or asked when the wedding was happening. I JUST got engaged, let me enjoy this stage before rushing into a wedding."
11. "If you've been single for a while: 'You need to settle for someone and/or your standards are too high.' I don't really want kids and I couldn't care less if I get married, so what's the big rush? I'd rather be alone for my entire life than end up stuck in a relationship that makes me feel alone."
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