Have you ever felt misunderstood or been told you are too aggressive, too emotional or too (fill in the blank)? It may be that your dual energies are out of balance. Once you begin to balance your masculine and feminine energies, you will find a freedom within you that you have never found before. As I have discovered, the process of balancing them is a process worth taking.
By now, most of us have heard of The Secret, a movie and book that came out about a decade or so ago discussing the law of attraction, one of the seven laws of the universe. According to this Hermetic philosophy of Ancient Egypt and Ancient Greece -- that dates back over 5,000 years -- everything in our universe is governed by these laws. Another one of the seven laws is the law of gender. The idea that we all have masculine and feminine energies within ourselves is not a new concept. It has nothing to do with gender or sexual preference. If we look around there are masculine and feminine energies all around us in nature. According to the book The Kybalion, based on the mystical teachings of Hermes Trismegistus, the law of gender states that "gender is in everything; everything has its masculine and feminine principals; gender manifests on all planes." The masculine and feminine energies are not only found in humans but in electrons, plants, minerals and magnetic poles.
Let me give you my short history to better explain this duality. I was raised to be a strong female at a time when my generation was riding the coattails of all those women who paved the way for female equality. My father believed in the education of females and in raising empowered women who could stand on their own two feet without the need or necessity of a man. I have always been entrepreneurial and self-reliant in a male-dominated industry. Throughout my life, I have nurtured and overdeveloped the masculine energy that fuels this type of success.
Masculine energy is action-oriented, to the point, competitive, cognitive, direct, entrepreneurial, problem solving, risk taking, etc. These are some of the dominant traits found in entrepreneurs, CEOs and other leaders who typically take charge and love to achieve goals. Conversely, feminine energy is rooted in intuition, receptivity, collaboration, creativity and feelings, to name a few. Make no mistake that feminine energy is not submissive nor is it weak. At a time when women are in the workforce and running businesses, we are leading with our masculine energy. We are not developing or nurturing our feminine energy in order for us to find balance in our lives and in our relationships. Can you relate to this?
I began to explore this concept to determine the role it played within my romantic life and how to strengthen my underdeveloped feminine energy. Many times, I had been told by male friends that I was too "Type A" -- a term they used to refer to masculine energy dominance.
Besides reading on the topic, I began taking ballroom dance lessons to strengthen my feminine energy. In ballroom dance, there is a leader who is usually the male (masculine energy) and a follower, a female (feminine energy). During my first few classes, my instructor would request that I stop leading and anticipating the next steps, and allow him to lead. A good dance leader is one who can guide his dance partner through touch and sight. A follower can feel the direction and the steps by the energy and the touch of her partner. By giving up my "control," I was better able to follow his lead which led to a more enjoyable and pleasant dancing experience. Dancing became easier when we were not competing against each other (masculine energy) but rather working as a team (feminine energy). The result of letting go, trusting and receiving his gift of safety was freeing and allowed me to enjoy the experience.
I have been finding that, with the shift of energies, my male friends have been responding to me differently. I have changed the way that I write my emails from a direct and to-the-point approach to a manner that is softer and differently worded. I am still able to get my point across and be effective while balancing my dual energies. The change has shifted in how they respond and react to me. One male friend said that my feminine side is one he preferred more because I was freer, laughed more and showed a more vulnerable side. When my masculine energy is dominant, it is like having a protective shield around me. Perhaps, subconsciously, I was protecting myself through my energy.
- Receive a compliment, support or a gift without self-criticism or reservation. When someone tells you how pretty or handsome you are, do not be self-deprecating. Instead, say, "Thank You!"
- Let your partner take the lead. If your partner wants to plan a trip for you both, allow them to do so without the constant need to take control.
- Do activities or projects that are collaborative in nature -- such as a group class or a volunteer project where you are part of a team. Perhaps a team building retreat for you and your employees may be in order.
- Laugh and live authentically. Living with the need for perfectionism is toxic. Perfectionism is rooted in fear; it is about control. Let yourself be a little vulnerable with another person you care about.
- Find a hobby that is rooted in creativity -- such as painting, writing, music, photography, sculpting, etc.
In finding inner, energetic balance you can strengthen the relationships around you and reach a place of peace.