Mom guilt is a real thing. I had heard the term multiple times before having our little one, but I never really understood it until the past few months. The first 6 months as a new mom were a blur, at least for me. When our little one started to be a little more alert, a little more independent and began hitting milestones pretty quickly... something else came along with that... mom guilt. I don’t know that it necessarily ever goes away, completely. I feel like my little one will be in college and I will still feel a sense of mom guilt, just over different things.
What is mom guilt?
Well, it’s basically feeling like you aren’t good enough as a mom. You aren’t doing enough. You aren’t present enough. You don’t make enough. You don’t spend enough. You aren’t home enough. You are home too much. You don’t go to play group enough. You go out to each too much.
We’ve all been there. I was there tonight (and last night). We ate out to eat last night and tonight. Last night: take out Chinese. Tonight: fast food. Against my will. Last night, I made cubed steak, which apparently, I let cook too long because the dog didn’t even want to eat it. Tonight, I tried to make lasagna, but realized (after cooking the meat and pre-heating the oven) that I was out of sauce. So, we ate out.
I have experienced more mom guilt than I would like to admit in the past eight months.
I was guilty because I didn’t breastfeeding long enough.
I was guilty because I didn’t back to work outside of the home.
I was guilty because the house wasn’t immaculate when my husband came home.
I was guilty because I fed my family fast food.
I was guilty because I fell asleep while watching a movie with my husband.
I was guilty because I just couldn’t bring myself to let my parents keep my little one overnight.
We’ve all been there. At least, that’s what I’m told.
We are too hard on ourselves as moms. We give everyone around us grace, we hold ourselves together... but we weigh ourselves down with guilt. We look around and compare ourselves to others. We guilt ourselves into thinking our life needs to look exactly like the other moms’ around us. It doesn’t.
Today, I am choosing to banish the mom guilt. Instead of feeling guilty, I am choosing to feel blessed because of what I am and what I am doing as a mom. I challenge you to do the same.
My child is healthy and has plenty to eat. He is in the 90th percentile for weight.
I work from home and provide for our family. All while being able to see my son during the day. I respect working moms and all that they do.
I laid on the floor and played blocks and cars with our son.
My family ate dinner.
I was exhausted because I had spent the day caring for our son, working and caring for our home. My husband appreciates that and me.
The last time I was away from my son was when he was in NICU. My son is healthy and is asleep next to me.
What are you feeling guilty for today? I hope you choose joy and thankfulness over guilt.