Have you heard of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? It's a Netflix original show about a woman who was kidnapped at 15 and kept underground by a crazy preacher. It is the brilliant work of Tina Fey and it is an untrue story that is not only hilarious, but hits a nerve for so many women bursting at the seems to find their real voice.
You see, Kimmy knows nothing of the current outside world. She was in a bunker for over a decade with an 8th grade education, and lost the chance to make a life for herself. Slang, trends, who to trust, etc. is all foreign to her - yet she chooses to stay in New York City (after a TV appearance about her ordeal) because she is eager to experience life. Most times, she makes a complete ass of herself trying to fit in.
Inside many of us there is a little Kimmy Schmidt begging to come to the surface. Trapped in a world that doesn't make sense, feeling isolated or maybe frustrated by your current circumstance and perhaps even feeling cheated; or wondering why you have "less than" you had hoped for. You want to run like hell, as fast as your feet will carry you. You want to do more, be more, and have a life full of the things and experiences you desire.
You're capable and deserving of an amazing life.
To see the light of day and never feel held down by something/someone else's control.
But when do we have enough or feel satisfied with the life we chose? How do we make real change that makes sense?
Make no mistake, we are exactly where we are supposed to be and it's a matter of free will - not something thrust upon us. We aren't Kimmy Schmidt (entirely). That little bit, clawing its way to the surface, is your soul crying out for its purpose. You just need to recognize it and offer it a helping hand.
You didn't really think passively waiting for destiny would bring greatness, did you? What it brings is a half-life filled with mediocrity, disappointment and over inflated expectations.
Now I know that Kimmy Schmidt is a fictitious person. However - the underlying theme of this show and the main character are relevant because she embodies the struggle of every person who has ever felt stuck or not free to make a choice. The only difference here is she didn't "actually" have a choice. YOU DO!
Choose to be happy and define it as whatever that means to you. Then run toward it like your life depended on it - because it does!
That my friend is called a leap of faith. If you move forward in life like that - a leap of faith may not always produce what you think you want, but the universe gives you what you need and is aligned with your highest purpose. You lack purpose or sense of direction by your own doing. Believe it or not, being unhappy, stuck, blocked, blah-blah-blah.....is a damn choice!!
If you say to the world "I am not good enough" then the world thinks you are shit. If instead you tell them that you're a badass, they'll listen just the same. The difference is in the story teller and the version he chooses to tell.
I invite you to really think about your life's narrative thus far. How you have portrayed yourself to others (or how you've allowed you to be thought of)? Think on that for a few minutes and render a verdict on the version you want to be repeated. Don't think for a second that your story has to begin or end a certain way, or by a standard set by society, your boss, your spouse or anyone else you care to throw in the mix.
You are entitled to live the happiest version of your life's story possible. You are not entitled to be "gotten" by everyone. So before you quit your job or tell your spouse that you're leaving, remember that those were choices too. Respect that they also have a story and you are in it.
As a coach I am often asked what the start point is. The answer is always you. You cannot build a business; have a quality career or relationship if you have zero idea of who the hell you are. If your purpose is only material wealth for instance; you will lack abundance elsewhere. If you get married because that is what you are supposed to do; you will most likely have an unfulfilling marriage.
If you make choices based in fear; that same fear will continue to chase you until you tackle it head on.
As a person who's been stuck, Kimmy would tell you to take life 10 seconds at a time. Just breathe. Count to ten. Do it again and again until you can handle more. Then she would tell you this: "We are the strong ones and you can't break us".
So...what's your story and how does it end?
Lisa Schmidt is a Post-Divorce Catalyst for Women in Detroit and the author of her own blog. Questions can also be sent to her directly Ask Lisa Here Or, pick up a copy of her free eBook "Overcoming the Overwhelm - Navigating Your Post-Divorce World" HERE