With all the controversy in the media with reality TV shows such as Real Housewives of this and Real Housewives of that, the entertainment industry seems to be showing less "real" and more "fake".
Will the shows that are on TV be the example of what our young girls should see as wives?
Can our young men feel confident in getting married when they predict marriage with more drama and less love and honesty?
Bigger houses, less stable homes.
Bigger body parts, less heartfelt moments.
Bigger cars, less vision.
Bigger ratings, less respect.
Bigger conflict, less oneness.
The truth of the matter is that although Reality TV isn't real, it's shaping the reality we live in.
Where do you turn to find out the real deal when it comes to having a thriving and prosperous relationship?
Who can you turn to get the skinny before, during and after the "I do"?
I have been a celebrity lifestyle coach for several years now and one thing stands true. Everybody loves REAL LOVE, either they want to find it, keep it, or discovering if they have it.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Tanya Barnett and her story is "real" and she is here to help others in areas she had to grow from, grow in and grow to.
"Of all the people that you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one that you will never leave nor lose. To the questions of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only solution." ~Jo Coudert
Who is Tanya Barnett? And what imprint does Tanya desire to leave on the world?
I am a woman who loves people and who works tirelessly to motivate and assist them in taking positive actions that will not only affect their life but also the lives of their families and community. I'm an Air Force veteran, marathoner, triathlete, avid book reader, a wife and a mom of 3 great children.
I want to leave an imprint where I literally change the way we view other people, in an empathetic way, who think and live differently than us. I also want people to leave my presence feeling like they matter and are loved.
Talk about one of the pivotal moments in your life that gave you strength and tell us how did you find that strength?
There was a time when my husband and I found ourselves literally homeless with 3 kids. My husband was in the military, I was working in a hospital emergency room but we were sleeping on the basement floor of a friend while our 3 kids slept on a futon. It was in that place that I decided I would no longer allow myself to be a victim to my circumstances. I chose to work double shifts, and save all the money we could in order to buy a house even though people around us suggested we get an apartment.
Within 3 months, we saved enough money to put a contract on a townhome. This took all the strength I had, to include sacrificing breastfeeding my baby. I was determined to get our kids in a home of their own, which we did.
Tell us about your book?
In my book Being a Wife Just Got Real: Things I Wish I Knew Before I Said, "I Do", I share the juicy things people don't share with single folks before they get married. I talk about sex, scandal and all those other things that go on behind closed doors. My book focuses on key things I wish I knew to be better prepared to be a wife.
My book is really about women conducting personal reflections on their relations in the past as well as their current one. I share what I learned, some does and don'ts and also have a place in the book where women can write at the end of every chapter. I give tips on conflict resolution by sharing my real life stories.
I'm happy to say, my husband and I recently celebrated 17 years of marriage.
What inspired you to write the book and share your story?
I found that when my husband and I were experiencing full blown turmoil in our marriage, I had no one to turn to and none of the books I read spoke about what I was dealing with. They were either super academic or super void of real scenarios. In my book, I share the good, the bad and the ugly of what we both did during our marriage and how we came to a place of deciding if we even wanted to stay married and how we would do it.
I believe when you are authentic and transparent, people can relate and see themselves in your story.
What is the message we can hear you shouting or whispering from the mountaintop to those on the climb?
It may sound corny but this is my heart: Speak to people with love and respect in a way that encourages, supports and uplifts them.
You have such a unique signature style how did you embrace your uniqueness?
It took me three years to embrace my hair loss. I couldn't even say the word alopecia without choking up and crying. I pretended I was bald on purpose. Once I told the truth about losing my hair to my friends and family, I was able to then embrace it. Since then, I was featured in 2 calendars as well as a fashion show and a few radio talk shows sharing my hair loss journey. Now, I rock it to empower other women who are losing their hair.
What's next for you and your brand?
I literally went through a complete rebranding a few weeks ago. The book has resonated with so many women at such a fast rate, not only nationwide but internationally as well. My brand, Real Wife Coach and the launch of The Real Wife Movement is like a dream. I was asked to be a featured author at the 107th NAACP Convention in Ohio. I have travelled to Pennsylvania, Jamaica and I have other states coming up in the next few months. I conduct Real Wife Conversation classes with a licensed clinical therapist and eight of her clients on a weekly basis, using my book as their workbook. I also do private Real Wife Coaching as well as group Real Wife Coaching which includes speaking at brunches, lunches, Girls Night Out, Fireside Chats, etc. I love being able to chat with women in such a non-traditional way, that is welcoming and a safe space for them to share their heart's pain.
I am so excited about the opportunities sharing my story in my book has opened for me. I definitely believe my book is movie material and I see the Real Wife Movement setting the stage for a weekly talk show where I am helping women become better wives before, during and after they say, "I Do".
Leave us with one last piece of advice.
Be true to yourself, be honest with others and love people without expecting anything in return. In turn, God will make all things work together for your good.
Skype: Tanya Barnett