How does a transsexual person who has no hope of ever passing and must resign themselves to living in the wrong gender role cope? originally appeared on Quora - the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights.
I once told my therapist: "I'd rather live my life as a funny looking woman than try to exist another day as a man."
If I can offer up anything it's this: People come in all shapes, all sizes, and all of them beautiful. That means you too.
I have no clue if I pass or not.... maybe I'm just a funny looking woman, maybe everyone thinks I'm a man in a dress. That's fine. I'm me, and being able to be me helps tremendously.
I tried the "I'll just cross dress at home thing" for too damn long. I tried too many things that weren't me being me.... and I got too damn close to letting go and falling to my death when I ignored who I really am. Transition, even with the price I find myself paying for it, is better than not living. Now that I have transitioned, I've realized how much of a shell of a person I'd become. I'm not just alive today because my heart still beats, I'm truly living.
My suggestion for any trans* person who feels they have no hope or is in crisis is to reach out and get some help. Talk to a therapist, or a local trans* support group... Recognize that you're not alone and you don't have to face this alone. Some of us blend, some of us don't... but the important thing that many of us are doing is living our own truth.
Be you, and good luck.
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