Holding onto beliefs that you formed as a child can keep you stuck in your adult life. You may feel that you can't break free of them because of your family; you would be seen as disloyal. If you begin to question long-held family patterns and behaviors, where does this leave them? Where does it leave you? Your beliefs can become like an addiction that you can't break free of no matter how hard you try.
But what if your beliefs are lies?
What if you can let go of outdated thinking that no longer applies to your life? What if you start to question everything you were told by parents, grandparents, teachers, aunts and uncles and other well-meaning people who had a hand in making you are the person you are today?
You may not want to disappoint those closest to you, but when you don't change, you keep doing the same thing over and over, perhaps expecting a different result. Albert Einstein referred to this as the definition of insanity. You're not insane, are you?
Below is a list of conscious or unconscious beliefs that you could have and may want to take a look sooner rather than later.
10 Beliefs That Keep You Stuck in Life
1. You believe that you have to be perfect.
If your mom or dad (or both) were perfectionists, you may have heard the phrase, "If it's not perfect, it's not right." The problem with this is that no one is perfect. No matter how hard you try, you won't always get it right. It's better to let the go of the belief that you must be perfect every time. Why? Because high expectations can kill your spirit. How? By making you frustrated and maybe even depressed. Free yourself from the need to be perfect. It will add years to your life.
2. You believe that you have to please everyone.
You can't and won't please everyone. The fact is that some people are happy being miserable. If you continue to go out of your way for others, it won't work. You won't receive credit or any acknowledgement or gratitude for whatever it is you've done. You'll only receive a giant headache. Do your best, but don't for a second believe that you must please the people in your life. The only person you can please is you.
3. You believe that you can't pursue your dreams.
When you were little, what was your biggest dream? Was it to be a chef? How about an actor or actress? You may have been told you that you shouldn't pursue your dreams. Why? Dreams keep your life moving forward. No one says that you have to quit your job today, pack up your car and move to Hollywood. Of course, if this is your prerogative then go for it. Rekindle your dreams through journaling. Think about what you wanted to become when you were little. Daydream and let your mind wander free. Your dreams may be closer to reality than you think.
4. You believe that you have to stay in a career you don't like.
It's a possibility for you to have several careers in your life. If you don't like your job, at least be thankful for the income it's providing you and your family. Instead of complaining about it, figure out what you want to do. Make a list of everything that interests you and narrow it down to the top five career choices. You can pursue another career on the side. But don't tell anyone about it.
5. You believe that you have to spend time with people who aren't healthy for you.
It's true that family and friends could be toxic for you. Even though you try to have a positive outlook and see past their flaws (everyone has them), they could be sucking the life out of you. These people are known as energy or emotional vampires, and you don't have to spend time with them. You can love people from a distance, maybe even get a new set of friends. Have compassion for them and whatever it is they're experiencing. When it comes to co-workers, bosses and other non-family members, know that they may be going through harsh life changes. Send them positive vibes and don't hang around them for too long.
6. You believe that you have to be everything to everyone.
You can't be everything to everyone. If you did this, you would collapse. Instead, meet people where they're at and do your best. Help them whenever you can, but don't get sucked into doing it all of the time. Remember, you don't have to be a people pleaser. You can say, "No, I can't (fill in the blank)." It's your life and you have every right to speak up for it.
7. You believe that you have to get a college education to be successful.
If you're not interested in college, don't waste your money. If you weren't interested in college but attended anyway, why? Was it because you were told to do so? Or were you trying to "please" your parents? College is not for everyone. You can make a decent living, if you have a plan. For example, maybe you're interested in construction. You could enroll in an electrical apprenticeship, get your journeyman's card and start your own business or work for a company. Electricians make a great living. And who's to say that you won't attend college and take some business courses. Do what's best for you and not what others think is best for you.
8. You believe that you can't own your own business.
Yes, you can own your own business, but it takes time, money and perseverance. You can't throw in the towel after three months. What you could do is hire and work with a business coach or mentor who can help you write a business plan and blueprint. He or she can also help you determine your target market and marketing strategy. Working for yourself and building a successful business that you can either franchise, leave to your kids or sell, is not only a great financial investment, but rewarding too.
9. You believe that you have to follow the crowd.
You don't have to follow the crowd. It's an illusion. For example, if plaids are in style, you don't have to wear them. If your friends smoke, you don't have to do the same. It's up to you to make the right choices for you and your life. And before you make those choices, think of the consequences, or what spiritual teachers refer to as the law of cause and effect. For every cause there's an effect, for every action there's a reaction. The next time someone says to you, "You must or should (fill in the blank)," know that you have the right to reject or accept their suggestions.
10. You believe that you have to be liked by everyone.
I'd like to share a secret with you. Not everyone will like you, so get over it. You can be the nicest and friendliest person on the planet but that doesn't guarantee that people will like you. It is what it is. Instead of analyzing why this or that person doesn't speak with you or treat you kindly, wish them the best and walk away. Besides, why would you want to hang out with those who don't want to be around you? It's their loss anyway. Surround yourself with people who love and support you. And who knows? Maybe the ones who didn't like you last year, will see your greatness. Whether or not you invite them in is up to you.
Create a New Belief System
You can get rid of your current belief system, if it makes you uncomfortable or isn't serving you. I did. What I believed growing up no longer was true for me today as an adult. What I believed two years ago doesn't work for me, either. I tossed out old beliefs and so can you. Join groups and speak to others who are on a life changing path. Read books from leading personal development and spiritual experts and create your own belief system. Do this and you will move forward in life.