Whether you are starting a divorce, in the middle of it or have walked through the fires of Hell and are on the other side, commit to make 2018 your year of change.
Nothing is worse for me as a divorce coach than to be sitting across from someone who has been divorced for years and they still have not accepted their change in circumstances, still are hanging on to hate, disappointment and anger and still feel like they don’t have control over their life. They swear on a stack of Bibles they have tried everything under the sun to rid themselves of this curse and believe me, it is a curse. In the beginning it is normal to have an assortment of emotions and to carry them with you through your divorce but as time goes on, you find that you have accumulated more and you are now dragging them through your life. You are tired all the time, have no patience, mentally and emotionally fatigued and can’t remember the last time you felt real joy all because you have not let go.
When I am faced with clients who are stuck, I go back to the basics. I always say, “Two things can not occupy the same space at the same time,” so lets focus on what you are thinking. How many times are you in the car and your thoughts drift to negative things? My guess is, probably quite a bit. The trick is to stop the negative thought and immediately replace it with a positive one. Sounds easy enough but it isn’t because we tend to get caught up in the emotion of the thought and want to finish it. We feel a release when we think of ways to get back at our ex or justified when we think about how our ex treated us. Those feelings are temporary but the effects of all that negative thinking hangs on long after we have finished thinking about it and hence, the baggage we drag around has gone from a small carry on to a steamer trunk.
So, here is my challenge to you for the New Year…change your thoughts. A very simple way to do that is to come up with I Believe statements, write them down and say them multiple times throughout the day. When a negative thought comes into your head, whether it is about your situation, your ex or any fears for your future, stop what you are thinking and start saying your I Believe statements. It is impossible to think two different things at the same time so your positive thinking will override your negative thinking. To get you started, I have listed some I Believe statements but what is important is that your statements are a reflection of you.
I Believe my life is ahead of me and not behind.
I Believe I am safe and secure.
I Believe my best years are now and in the future.
I Believe I am a warrior.
I Believe that I have forgiven those that hurt me.
I Believe that I am financially secure.
I Believe that doors of opportunity have opened for me.
I Believe that my children are happy and healthy.
I Believe that my excitement for my new life knows no bounds.
I Believe that I am well qualified for any job that I apply for.
I Believe that I am beautiful inside and out.
I Believe that I am doing the best I can today.
I Believe that all things are working out for my good.
Believe that 2018 is a great year and a shift in your life and it will be!