How do we define failure? I feel like as a society it is our culture to view any shortcoming as failure, but what if we viewed those same shortcomings as stepping-stones. Why does dreaming big and falling “short” have to instantly be seen as failure? At what point along the way did we become so critical of ourselves that anything short of perfection must mean it is a failure?
From a young age we are rewarded for performance, whether it be try outs for athletics or performing arts, grades in the classroom, scores on standardized tests… we are measured up to a standard of what perfection is and given a score as to where we fall on that scale. Unfortunately, with age we are also taught by society to be realistic with our dreams. If you ask a young kid what they want to be when they grow up you often will receive an answer filled with dreams for their careers that have no limits, no one has told them they can’t yet, the world still seems to be at their fingertips, but then as kids turn into adolescents those big, grand dreams seem to fad, “reality” sets in and they become “realistic” in their dreams for their futures, because unfortunately by this point they have been told they can’t. Before you know without even realizing we have limited our potential, we have limited our ability to truly dream, to hope, to believe that we can exceed all expectation.
As I sat amongst my fellow Team USA teammates last week and looked around the room I saw a room full of individuals that refused to listen to the voices that told them they couldn’t, the voices that every single one of us has heard at some point in our lives, the voices that tell us our dreams are too grand. As I sat there amongst my teammates, individuals that have all exceeded expectation in their own lives, individuals that represent every demographic you can imagine, we watched our President take the stage, a man that happens to be our country’s first ever African American President. As we listened to his words, as we celebrated, as we reflected on those who paved the way and as we looked towards the future, I found myself looking around the room and realizing how incredibly humbling it is to amongst that many dreamers.
How many people do you think have told one of our Team USA Olympians or Paralympians they can’t? How many people do you think told President Obama along the way that he couldn’t? How many people doubted, questioned and placed limits on the potential of every individual in that room, from the athletes all the way to our President? Every last person in that room was there because they have been willing to believe that they are superior to circumstance, they were there because they were willing to understand that falling short of our dreams and goals isn’t a failure, it is a building step along the way. We have all fallen, we have all been knocked down, we have all wanted to give up at some point along the way and yes, every Olympian, Paralympian and I am sure the President of the United States have all had failures along the way. Although, I believe what makes us the best athletes in the world, what got our first African American President to the White House is the will and desire to never back down from a fight, the courage to face failure head on and not let it prevent us from continuing to reach for our dreams, goals and aspirations. In fact, I am willing to bet that every time one of us has felt like we have failed our dreams have only become much grander following each shortcoming.
So what is failure even mean? Falling short? Not living up to the standard of perfection that our society has in place? I went into the Rio 2016 Games believing if I didn’t return home a medalist than I would have failed, I would have let people down. As an athlete at times it is easy to focus on the standard of perfection, the constant drive to be better, the desire to win. I have won 30 international medals in my career, 25 of them have been gold, 3 silver and 2 bronze of those medals I have won one Paralympic Gold and one Paralympic Bronze medal. If we define success by medals, I have had a career full of plenty of success, but on that same scale I have also had plenty of failure along the way. Although, I am beginning to realize that success and failure isn’t defined by medals, we are the only people that can define success and failure in our lives. See to some, I failed in Rio, I came home empty handed, not a single medal; in fact it is my first international competition in my career where I have come home empty handed. Although I have learned that Rio was the furthest thing from a failure, in fact Rio was one of the biggest successes of my career to date. Why? Because I have realized that falling short of our dreams, isn’t a failure, but not allowing yourself to dream in the first place, that is a failure. I went to Rio with dreams, big dreams, ambitious dreams and I may not have met every dream but I gave everything I had, every ounce of my being, every last bit of fight I had in me and that, that is a success.
When you feel like you have failed, try again and again, keep fighting, keep dreaming and never let yourself be defeated. Don’t allow society to tell you that you can’t, to make you feel less than, to prevent you from dreaming because the reality is if we don’t dream big, we will never know what our full potential is.