Sorry, Ben Affleck, Make Way For Justin Theroux's Giant Rat Tattoo

Ther-oh-my-God!
Justin Theroux shooting “Getting Curious With Jonathan Van Ness Live” at the Vulture Festival in New York City, May 20.
Justin Theroux shooting “Getting Curious With Jonathan Van Ness Live” at the Vulture Festival in New York City, May 20.
Bryan Bedder via Getty Images

Somewhere in the Hollywood Hills, Ben Affleck whispers, “Touché,” as he takes another drag from his vape pen.

The “Justice League” star no longer soldiers alone when it comes to inexplicably large back tattoos, after actor Justin Theroux debuted one of his own.

The former Mr. Jennifer Aniston and Selena Gomez’s current lunch date appeared at a live recording of “Queer Eye” grooming guru Jonathan Van Ness’ podcast at the Vulture Festival over the weekend.

When a fan asked the heavily tattooed star for the backstory on some of his ink, he lifted his shirt to expose a giant tattoo of a pigeon and a rat on his back, giving fans a peek at some previously unseen body art.

“So I had two dogs, both rescues, pit bulls … and when they died, I dedicated half my back to one and half of my back to the other,” he explained. “So it’s a picture of a rat because my dog used to kill rats in Washington Square Park. It was horrible. I mean, they were doing a service to New York. Oh, and then a pigeon. A New York pigeon and a rat.”

Now, Theroux didn’t show the entire tattoo, but from what we can tell, he inked the image of a rather large rodent crawling done his spine, surrounded by artwork.

And unlike Affleck, the “Leftovers” actor doesn’t seem particularly regretful about the decision.

Affleck’s giant tattoo of a rising phoenix spanning from shoulder to shoulder first caught our eye in 2015, amid his divorce from actress Jennifer Garner.

He later jokingly called his tattoos “garish” in response to a New Yorker article titled “The Great Sadness of Ben Affleck” about his presumed midlife crisis.

It’s unclear when exactly Theroux got the tattoo ― he announced his split from Aniston in February ― so it’s not fair to say their relationship had anything to with his ink.

But in case this turns into some kind of disturbing trend, someone please tell freshly single Channing Tatum that this is NOT the way to move on.

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