Bernie Sanders Needs to Stop Breaking Up Big Banks and Start Breaking Up My Ex and Her New Boyfriend

Critics of Bernie Sanders have been quick to point out that he is a bit of a one-topic politician. Every chance he gets, he goes back to his hits. "We need to break up the banks!" he yells.

That's great Bernie, and we get it. But what about my ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend?

Not once has Senator Sanders mentioned anything about Donna and Rick. They've been together for three months, and won't stop posting pictures of it on Instagram. Yet Sanders is silent.

Beyond that, in his time in government, his far-left politics have rarely gotten anything passed. In a time when our elected officials are more polarized than ever, we need someone who will look to unite both parties. Specifically, we need someone who will unite both parties to make it illegal for Donna and Rick to date.

Though his foreign experience is limited at best, it should not be too much for us to ask someone who wants to be PRESIDENT what their plan is to stop Donna and Rick from going on a trip to France together over the summer.

Even worse, Sanders record on gun control has been far from liberal. Unless he's planning on making Rick and Donna break up at gun point, I cannot say that his positions are okay with me.

This is the issue with Bernie voters. They don't see the big picture. They see a bunch of Facebook posts from their friends, and completely neglect to look into some of Bernie's flaws, like how he hasn't made a single mention of how Rick and Donna definitely saw me at Shake Shack and said nothing.

Bernie seems like a nice guy, but these are legitimate concerns. Until he can provide a well thought out plan to break Rick and that HARLOT Donna up, he does not have my vote.