Recently, one of our favorite curmudgeons, Alex Balk, tackled the definitive ranking of olives over on The Awl. Spoiler alert: Balk does see color when it comes to olives and we think that the veritable Benetton ad's worth of olive diversity got lost in the kerfuffle.
Olives can be polarizing. Some of us love them, some of us hate them and there are not many of us in between. As an olive lover, let me just go on record as telling you that there really is no bad olive, but some are better than others. Here, you'll find the definitive ranking of olives, in order from worst to best.