Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Read the latest batch below and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
I keep my children around as a handy excuse to decline invitations to social events.
— The Ranting Wife (@Ranting_Wife) February 13, 2014
I love the grocery store by myself. This is my Disneyland and my Narnia.
— Bunmi Laditan (@BunmiLaditan) February 9, 2014