Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
I would honestly be the perfect mother if I didn't have kids
— Bunmi Laditan (@BunmiLaditan) May 15, 2014
You know you're a parent when the top rack of your dishwasher is full of nothing but plastic shit and wine glasses.
— Misstlovestrinkets (@mstluvstrinkets) May 15, 2014
Things my 4yo son says that I won't argue with:
"Mom, I'm really going to miss you when I grow up and marry Hayley and she becomes my mom."
— carly kimmel (@carlykimmel) May 15, 2014
Best part of motherhood is how the slowly accumulating white streaks in my hair will lend an air of authenticity to my Princess Anna costume
— The Ugly Volvo (@theuglyvolvo) May 13, 2014