Best Tweets: What Women Said On Twitter This Week

Kim Kardashian's personal brand:
1) family first
2) sex is great
3) look fly 100% of the time

She is a perfect person + you all are NOTHING

— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) January 20, 2015

That lady who thinks life without kids is meaningless has clearly never watched downton abbey alone in the bathtub

— sarah miller (@sarahlovescali) January 20, 2015

So lazy I just Googled "should you sleep in bra" to see if it might be good for you. Looks like no effect either way so I'll take it off now

— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) January 20, 2015

1. Having drinks with a friend who insists 'hasn't killed people' and 'doesn't call feminists cunts' is too low a bar for who I will date.

— Elissa (@ElissaBeth) January 20, 2015

i only go on ebay after i smoke pot that way i'm always the highest bidder thank you check please

— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) January 22, 2015

you: *goes ham in the club*
me: *eats prosciutto at home*

— Alexis C. Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) January 22, 2015

sex can be pretty enjoyable, once the other person stops laughing

— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) January 23, 2015

"Ask your doctor about how the Keystone Pipeline can help you."

— Anna Holmes (@AnnaHolmes) January 21, 2015

17 years later, still relevant to my feminism. pic.twitter.com/f472O7efl0

— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) January 23, 2015

The only people I know who have a totally different concept of how big an inch is would be every hairdresser and also all guys

— Michelle Markowitz (@michmarkowitz) January 23, 2015

k fine I guess "happy birthday, legal abortion!" isn't ironic in a good way.

— Amanda Duberman (@AmandaDuberman) January 22, 2015

"I love being home. But I don't like being left behind"-- Beth in Little Women as she dies/me when I bail on dinner plans

— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) January 21, 2015

Be a dear and pass me my shotgun, Sugar.

— Vodka n Tots (@Vodkantots) January 23, 2015

*Tries to blow breathalyzer*

breathalyzer: I have a girlfriend

— Amanda hugnkiss (@caliluvgirl77) January 23, 2015

Sometimes when I'm eating a tub of ice cream and crying about being alone forever, I put on lipgloss because it makes me feel fancy.

— Sasshole (@RidiculousSheri) January 23, 2015

"If you love something set it free"
[Takes dog's leash off] Go on fella, you're free now
[Throws a rock] GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE I LOVE YOU

— Nerdine Boo (@brennadine) January 21, 2015

Fun drinking game: Have a drink, then put all of your feelings on the internet.

— moody monday (@mdob11) January 21, 2015

New #SOTU game: @ErnestMoniz or Beethoven? You decide. pic.twitter.com/alXnarCzkY

— Jess Ruzic (@jessica_ruzic) January 21, 2015