Best Tweets: What Women Said On Twitter This Week

No thanks, therapy I'll just keep seeking validation from strangers on the Internet.

— Annekinns (@Annekinns) March 2, 2015

Sure sex is good but have you ever had someone scratch your back for a long time.

— Raspberry Jam (@Jenny4ashley) March 1, 2015

There's 4 sides to every story...

Mine, his, the alcohols and my ex-mother-in-laws

— Tammy (@OkieGirl405) March 2, 2015

Get his attention by writing all your texts like BuzzFeed headlines.

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) March 2, 2015

You know those people who are emotionally shut down and closed off? They've really got it figured out.

— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) March 6, 2015

"What do you think Hillary Clinton's email is? hillz4realz@aol? " -- @Xtina_Anderson

— Jessica Samakow (@jsam1126) March 4, 2015

What I am learning is that literally every woman who hit puberty during or after 1992 has extremely sexual feelings about the film Newsies.

— Katie Coyle (@krcoyle) March 5, 2015

If you could invite 3 famous people living or dead to a dinner party, STOP HAVING DINNER PARTIES AND USE THOSE POWERS FOR GOOD

— sarah_haskins (@sarah_haskins) March 2, 2015

hoping my boss reads that last "go tit!" email as "got it!"

— Kendra Cunningham (@theotherkendra) March 6, 2015

if you see me walking down the streets of nyc muttering to myself, don't worry... just practicing my TED Talk.

— Monica Lewinsky (@MonicaLewinsky) March 6, 2015

DONT YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME WHILE IM MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH YOUR DOG

— Alison Agosti (@AlisonAgosti) March 2, 2015

Tell me more about how the barista misspelled your name.

— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) March 5, 2015

*finds message in bottle* "NEW BOTTLE WHO DIS"

— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) March 4, 2015

Hinder: an app that locates available singles nearby who will stall your life in some significant way

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 5, 2015

Water in a wineglass; that's fun. Could you also bring me my arch nemesis in the body of an adorable baby?

— erin whitehead (@girlwithatail) March 6, 2015

"By the way, I never really liked you," she said, as the door of the spaceship closed.

— Karen (Tozzi) (@karentozzi) March 4, 2015

Is making the jerkoff motion at every phone call and email I get at work considered cardio?

— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 4, 2015

Every day I accidentally play a game called "what's the stupidest sentence I can say to another human person today"

— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) March 5, 2015

A poem is the most beautiful way to tell someone you're pretentious.

— maura quint (@behindyourback) March 3, 2015