We should all take fifteen minutes a week to consider the possibility that everything in which we so passionately believe- politically, religiously, socially- is completely wrong.
People have a strong emotional reaction to the Black Lives Matter movement- not so much the movement, but the name. People place too much importance on semantics.
The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People? That's reverse-racism. We should call it the National Association for the Advancement of All People. Well, maybe not the Kardashians.
BET, Black Entertainment Television? That's divisive. All people should be entertained by television. That's why I call for a boycott of that Full House re-boot on Netflix. Nobody's being entertained by that show.
Jack Black? Wrong. Let's get behind a jack-of-all-trades.
My opinion? Scuba or Platform. Forward, Backward, Twisting, Armstand, or Reverse. Straight, Pike, Tuck, or Free. All Dives Matter.
Really, it's just the name of a group. White people are way too outraged over the name Black Lives Matter. So they counter with All Lives Matter. And other people are way too outraged over that. We should be outraged over racial stratification, police brutality, urban violence, and senseless murders. And cancer. And Tom Brady deflating footballs.
Unfortunately, all lives don't matter. American laboratories still do torturous medical testing on dogs. It's common for labs to remove the animals' vocal chords so their cries don't bother the technicians. And visit a factory farm sometime. It will make you sad.
There's so much strife between white people and black people. That's why I respect blind bigots; they don't see race.
In Toronto, a Black Lives Matter protest temporarily shut down a gay pride parade. I think it's time to place blame on the real troublemakers- Canadians.
Nevertheless, it's generally not productive when minority groups battle over who is the most oppressed. Let's just agree to agree that both black people and gay people have been historically oppressed. Actually, the minority group most oppressed throughout the world- the people mostly likely to be harassed, assaulted, and murdered, simply because of their social category- is women. But it's hard to convince people of this statistical fact. It's even hard to convince black women and gay women.
Police officers have a dangerous, important job. They deserve our respect... and better cop "buddy" movies. Is it just me, or did Ride Along 2 feel like a bit of a money grab?
Speaking as a white person, though, I have to be honest; I've had some unpleasant experiences with police officers that really ruined my day. I'm not talking about "getting shot multiple times in the back and chest" ruined. But on more than one occasion I thought, "Why is this policeman being such a jerk?" And I'm a law-abiding citizen. Hey, barely-legal is still legal. Wink.
The police officer involved in the fatal shooting of a black man in Louisiana is deserving of a fair trial. The video doesn't look good, though.
Sometimes we forget that a policeman's job is to apprehend suspects (and, at least growing up as a teenager in my small town, to break up high school parties.) That a suspect is resisting arrest, or that he's a bad guy, or that he "deserves" to be punished is irrelevant. Then once a suspect is in custody, it's up to our legal/judicial system judicial system to determine a person's guilt and punishment. This is how society is supposed to function. Without a clear set of rules, we're no better than the Olympics.
This is not partisan politics. This is something we can all agree on. No? In Memphis, a policeman was suspended for a racist Snapchat picture in which a white office is aiming a gun at a black man emoji. This man should not be a police office. He should never even have been given a badge. He's a sociopath- like all grown men on Snapchat.
There are a lot of problems in society. We should address each of these problems separately. One problem is that black people feel they are treated unfairly by law enforcement.
There's a solution.
No, the solution is not "love." F*ck love. Love is not working. We don't all need to love each other. Now, to suggest that we can solve this issue by making love to each other... then heck, I'm on board.
No, we don't need to have "an honest discussion about race." Everyone is kind of racist. There. I'm being honest. Are we done?
Seriously, don't make me have an honest discussion about anything. It's like when my girlfriend says, "We need to talk." No, you need to talk. I need to finish my movie. I'm up to the part where Tom Hanks builds a raft. Yes, I know I've seen this movie before. But I like it and it's Saturday afternoon and I'm relaxing and... oh no Wilson!"
"We need to have an honest discussion" generally means "I'm going to tell you what you need to do." People don't like to be told what to do. No, Mr. Grocery Store Cashier, as a matter of fact, I will not have a nice day.
I don't think the solution is for people to take a long hard look at their whiteness. Trust me- I acknowledge my whiteness every time I look down at my Doc Martens sandals.
I'm not ashamed about being a white person. I'm ashamed about being a person. God we suck. Look what we've done to the environment. And, I mean, Pokeman GO?!
No, the solution is legislation and better supervision. And new police academy rules that we can all agree on. If we can fake putting a man on the moon, we must be able to come up with more intricate psychological testing so that racist trigger-happy sociopaths aren't allowed on the force. Frankly, I can't imagine that most police officers want to work with violent lunatics. It's dangerous. I certainly don't want to work with violent lunatics. Why do you think I quit my job as one of Britney Spears' backup dancers?
Remember the gay marriage debate? That was once a thing. And then gay marriage was ruled a Constitution right. And the laws changed. And now it's no longer a thing.
I'm not sure of any effective policy ever created out of blocking traffic or interrupting speeches or self-entitlement. That's not helpful. You're making me late for work... okay, for my Pilates class. But still.
Martin Luther King's life mattered. But his legacy matters even more. He wasn't just an existential symbol of racial harmony. Rather, he led a civil movement, whose demands were intelligent, clear, and undeniable. And things changed in grand ways that we now take for granted... because we're too busy taking selfies.
Change the rules. Make it harder to become a police officer. There are already many fine policemen and policewomen. And we want more of them.
The madness needs to end. The battle over semantics deserves to fade away. And soon we will stop the hate and go back to grudgingly accepting each other... which is probably the best we can hope for.