Don’t know about you but keeping up with social media feels exhausting to me. I’ve spent more hours attempting to master Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and LInkedIn than I have taking care of myself some months. It isn’t right and I’m going to tell you how a mindset practice is more beneficial than your social media and marketing when it comes to attracting the abundance you crave and staying blissed out vs. burnt out.
We entrepreneurs are out there (on social media) because we’ve been told we need to be. We’ve been taught how to find and woo our ideal client with the perfect, aligned branding and how to master posting the correct content with the ideal timing and frequency. We’ve done webinar after webinar on opt-in’s, sales funnels, offline and online marketing, blogging and how to create the million dollar freebie.
I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted. And it’s not working like it should be, according to the people who must be doing it right, or better than me. Why? Well, I’ve spent time, and coaching dollars figuring that out too! I’ve taken copy writing courses, had my sales pages analyzed by people who know something about that, taken classes in analyzing my website, my about page, my attitude and my aura.
And something’s still not working.
I’ve paid attention to every business tip, every important new thing, every different, more soul-aligned way of doing things, and every traditional, evidence-based, tried and true tactic. And it’s still not happening. Because if I had done everything right, I’d be rolling in the dough by now. Right? I’d have ten new ideal clients all willing to pay me big bucks and a waiting list of more where that came from.
Not necessarily.
Why? Here’s what I discovered about mindset and energy when it comes to marketing your business, and why it’s more important than social media when it comes to your success: You have to think, believe and act abundant and successful before you are. You have to feel the joy, enthusiasm, excitement and expectation of success before you actually have it.
Yes, I mean fake it till you make it. Sort of.
The reason you’re burning out with marketing isn’t because you’re doing anything wrong. It’s not because your message is weak or your enthusiasm is lacking. It’s not because you’re not an inspiration to others or what you have to offer isn’t valuable, empowering or useful. The reason you’re burning out is because you don’t believe you’ll be successful and that energy sabotages every good and right thing you think you’re doing for your business.
Stay with me here - because I know you’ve spend thousands on the right business courses and you’re like, “Dude, is it really my mindset that’s killing me? I’m a positive person - ask anyone.” The problem is you haven’t done the healing; for your worth, your voice or your soul. In the back of your mind runs a conditioned bitch of a tape saying something like; I’m not good enough, they won’t want what I have to offer, and even if they do, someone else is doing it better than me.
The patterns of thinking burned into your mind keep you small, doubtful, fearful, lacking and unconsciously focused on the opposite of success. You haven’t experienced an easy flow of abundance yet so you believe you never will. You don’t have proof your positive, on-purpose mindset will get you where you want to go so you still don’t vibrate at the level of goodness required for the goodness to flow to you.
Read that last sentence again. It’s important.
So yes, you need to fake it until you make it. But I’m suggesting you don’t have to fake it as much as you think. It’s more about practicing the energy of things you already have, know and do and creating a discipline out of that focus.
Bottom line is - no sloppy thinking!
You’re not thinking, believing and acting as consistently as you’d like to think you are to create the vibration of abundance you need to attract more to you. You’re going to bed and waking up worrying. You’re spending too much time looking at the lack on your P & L. You’re focusing all your energy talking about where the holes, mistakes, failures and lack is than what you already have that’s good.
And that’s the energy and mindset that continues to exhaust you, demotivate you, keep you tired, small, doubtful, fearful and disempowered. It’s time to get a little more badass on this mindset thing so you’ll start to feel the momentum of what it can do for you. It’s time to learn the real secret business skill all those entrepreneurs have and know but aren’t teaching; your awareness, mindset, beliefs, words and actions, when aligned with gratitude, enthusiasm, love and abundance (a majority, not some of, the time) will cause more things to be grateful for to flow to you. It’s the law of attraction.
There are three ways you must shift and practice your awareness to make a shift toward blissed-out vs. burnout; Thinking, beliefs and actions.
Better Thinking
What do you think on a regular basis? This’s what you’ll create; no matter what business course you’ve mastered or how many times you post on social media per day. Do you think it’s going to be hard? Do you think you’re not good enough? Do you think you have what it takes? Do you think someone else is already doing it? Do you think you’ll fail? Do you think it’ll take a long time and hard work? Do you think things will work out, or not?
What you think is what you’ll create. So while you’re waiting for the outcome of your life and you’re on the path, you might as well enjoy the journey and experiment with a new way of thinking.
The first thing to do is make your default thinking fall to gratitude for the things you already have. And this isn’t faking anything. You can truly focus on anything, small or large, to be grateful for; the full moon, the dollar you found in the parking lot, a stranger who smiles at you…anything. It’s about the energy of that feel-good thinking.
Here are some more powerful mantras to replace your old, conditioned, ineffective and sabotaging tapes with:
*Everything is always working out for my highest good.What if this could be easy?
*I can’t wait to see what happens next.
*Money (insert anything you desire here) flows to me easily and in unexpected ways.
*I love (insert whatever you love here).
*I love feeling (insert whatever way you love feeling here).
Of course you won’t be changing up your thinking unless you’re aware of what you’re thinking in the first place. Practicing awareness is the key and the lifelong tool you’ll master that’ll be your ticket to everything and anything you want for your life.
We are thinking every day, all day long. That’s a lot of messages and each has an energy or a vibration to them. Wouldn’t it be good to have an understanding of how often your thoughts are positive and how often they’re negative? Without awareness you won’t have a choice - your mind will go about it’s merry (or not so merry) way of thinking.
So practice. What do you feel right now? What are you thinking right now? Hopefully you’re having an aha about just how much thinking you do and how often it’s not serving what you really want. Now we can go about changing that!
Healthier Beliefs
Even when you set your default thinking to positive and gratitude-focused, there tend to be very old, conditioned beliefs stuck in that mind of ours that overpower things. Do you know what those are for you? Have you spent some time listening to your inner critic voice? What does he/she say to you? That’ll give you a clue as to what’s still stopping up your flow.
Getting to the old, outdated and ineffective beliefs we have about ourselves and our lives is a powerful way to shift and transform what’s happening around us, but it’s also one of the biggest challenges requiring some seriously focused awareness. Understanding what we were taught as kids about what’s right, about who we are and how we should be in the world is crucial to making changes in your current situation. And it’s the awareness that’ll give us a choice to notice and change those beliefs.
You might try doing a little writing exercise on this. Take a few moments and journal a list of any limiting beliefs you have, old or current. Read that list to yourself. Make a note of any belief you feel isn’t serving you anymore (hence the title, “limiting”). Decide right here and now that it isn’t serving you and it’s time for a new belief.
Here are some positive mantras/beliefs to help you replace some of the old ones:
*I have everything I need to achieve anything I want.
*I’m good enough (insert any combination of positive words here - smart enough, skilled enough, etc…) to do anything I want to do.
*Everything I need is coming to me as we speak.
*I’m a unique expression of divine energy. There’s nobody else like me!
*My voice and opinion matter.
*Nobody else can do this like I can.
*Everything is always working out for my highest good.
You can add to this list by creating your own and practice saying them either quietly to yourself or out loud multiple times a day. We have to train our brain to think the way we want it to!
Now, before we move on to the most important piece, the aligned action you take every day, realize what percentage of the time you’re thinking, believing (and so vibrating) with the energy of goodness, or not. Really understand how often you fall back into negativity, doubt, fear, lack, shame, etc…Notice your practice needs practice. Have the aha about this right now.
This’s the key to why what you think should be working, isn’t.
We know what to do and we still don’t do it to the degree required for true effectiveness. We know what to think, say, and do, but we do the opposite. We catch ourselves with the BFF gossiping about someone else (bad vibe). We pick up our bank statement and stare a little too long at the lack, analyzing every possible thing that’s wrong or bad. We talk to our friends, acquaintances, family and colleagues about what we don’t have yet, how it’s not working yet, about the mistakes and failures…instead of the feelings conjured up when we already have what we desire. Try this example on for size; “Wow I’m so incredibly happy and grateful now that (fill in the blank).”
It may sound or feel silly to think, believe, talk and act in ways you desire vs. the reality staring you in the face but up until now, you’ve thought, believed, talked about, focused on and acted in response to what is; the reality of your situation. The problem with that is you’re vibrating with the problem. And to shift to something you desire you have to vibrate with the energy of what you desire, not what you don’t want, including the current reality.
To change this we have to vibrate with the solution; joy, love, gratitude, excitement, enthusiasm, etc…all the time, as much as possible, every day, morning, noon and night, no matter what. Easy, right? I don’t know about you, but I’ve been practicing the opposite, for decades. I’m good at focusing on reality, the problems, the mistakes, failures and lack. I’m really good at the suffering. I was taught I should worry. That it was the responsible thing to do.
No more. If we want something different we have to create it. We create something different by being and doing different. The only way to be and do different is by being aware of how we’re being and what we’re doing and choosing new ways. Might as well choose ways that feel good!
Here’s the last step - acting from a place of feel-good. Choosing the words (spoken or written) and actions that align with the love, joy and gratitude you want to feel, that you are already feeling!
Aligned Actions
No way of thinking or believing will have you attracting abundance faster than actually taking action on those thoughts and beliefs. Without this step, you’re positive thinking is only a wish. We can turn wishes into positive expectations and manifestations by taking action matching the level of goodness of our desires.
Our desires are based on feelings. Feelings of love, joy, ecstasy, gratitude, hopefulness, excitement, enthusiasm, and inspiration, to name a few good ones, are what we’re after. We want what we want so we can feel these good ways. Problem is we can’t feel good without feeling good. So we have to feel good, first. Impossible? No!
How do you go from feeling shitty to good? By taking an action that feels good. By making choices to change what you’re doing based on how it feels in you, to your body and mind. So lets do another writing exercise now. Take a moment to make a list of things that make you feel good. Things you love, and love to do. Situations that make you smile, or laugh, or cry with tears of joy. Things you’re grateful for. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Now you have a go to list every time you need to shift your action and take control of your feelings. I made my list on my iPhone notes so that I could pick it up and read it to myself any time I want. Feel-good action is the tool you need to practice so your abundance-manifesting mindset becomes a regular, usual, normal thing. Feel-good action is the way you go from feeling shitty to awesome and changing your vibration; the vibration that creates the things you desire.
So even though you may not have a million dollars, or the new car or house, or the love of your life, and you’re waiting to have those things, you still have to practice the same feelings of those things inside of you to start to move yourself into the energy state that’ll begin to attract those things. Get it? You have to use the same energy (by focusing on something you do have or are grateful for, or the feeling it gives you) and get into the vibration (feeling) of it, now!
This includes the way you speak out loud, about everything. This includes the company you keep and the events and situations you choose. This includes the way you operate during your day, including any role you serve in, whether it be at a job, or at home, or out in your community.
The action you take, based on the awareness, thoughts and beliefs you practice in each moment is what creates your new reality.
Aligned action can happen from the moment you wake to the moment you fall asleep at night. It’s up to you to stay awake, use your awareness to feel what’s good, or not, then choose to speak or act in a way that moves the dial up to feel good.
What do I do if I’m not in control over what’s happening to me and there’s a negative influence? I like this question because this’s where things start to really change for the better. In most any situation you don’t feel you have control over it’s your thinking creating that limiting belief. For example, you’re at lunch with a friend who’s gossiping and you can’t stand it, but don’t want to offend her by asking her to stop. Well…this is a choice you’re making and you’re the only one who can shift the conversation in the direction you desire. Next time try gently interrupting to say, “Hey, can we change the topic? Taking about so and so is making me feel bad.” No doubt your friend will get the hint and stop right away.
Another example might be that you’re having a tough phone conversation with your ex about something you don’t agree on re; the kids or the money, or whatever. You notice the conversation is feeling toxic, again, and you feel trapped because you feel obligated to solve the problem. Well, you have a choice in that moment. Rather than tolerating those feelings, you can redirect the conversation by actually saying what’s happening; “I don’t feel good about how we’re speaking to each other. Maybe we can take some time to think about this and resume when we’re both feeling a little more calm.”
I know some scenarios are much more difficult than these examples, but the point is you always have a choice; to stop talking, to walk away, to hang up, to say no to an outing, to refuse a meeting, etc…There’re many things we do out of duty, obligation and/or under the guise of being responsible or good that are just plain not good for us. Let’s change the belief we have to endure those bad vibes as a rule. We make the rules as far as what’s good for us.
It’s time to take action that feels better. It’s time to make our own rules as far as what we want for our lives and businesses and to follow the beat of our own hearts and souls, rather than everyone else’s. It’s time to give ourselves permission to do what feels good, rather than what we think we’re supposed to do. It’s time to feel better, think better and do better, so that we attract more of what feels good into our lives.
More Tools to Help You
Journaling Power:
One of the tools I enjoy using the most to enhance my positivity practice and focus every day is journaling. I have a specific journal for love and gratitude and I try to add to it every single day. I also have a journal to keep track of all the good things I receive, including material and non-material things, into my life. And I keep a journal to write a little bit of everything in, but when something’s not feeling so good, or going so right, I try to “reverse journal” that situation.
Reverse journaling is a powerful manifesting tool. Here’s an example: My business isn’t receiving the income I want or need this month and it’s making me feel like a failure, like I’m doing something wrong and/or like it will never get better. I’m in a general funk about it and realize I’m waking up and going to sleep worrying about that income, and the possible consequences of things staying like they are. Well, the reverse journaling tool would look something like this:
I’m so incredibly happy and grateful now that I’ve made (fill in the blank with the amount of money) this month. I have all the resources I need, the referrals are coming regularly and I even started a waiting list! My energy and creativity are high and I’m always receiving the ideas and tools I need to grow and thrive in my business.
This kind of journaling immediately moves you into a positive state. It feels much better to state the situation in a way you desire, than to complain, bemoan or criticize how it’s going; which will not help you change it. Reverse journaling helps you get into the vibration of something that feels much better.
Body Awareness Meditation:
Another tool I use is body awareness meditation. When everything else fails and you can’t get yourself out of the repetitive, ruminating, negative thoughts, you can just simply breathe. Sometimes you don’t feel good or grateful or happy. And you’re stuck there, feeling like it’s impossible to change it. Nothing on your feel good action list is helping and you don’t know what to do.
So just breathe. Clear your mind, come into your body and without judgement or attachment, just feel what you feel and give yourself permission to just be, without doing anything else. This tool should be a daily practice, and in the beginning will need to be. Getting to the point where the majority of your thoughts, beliefs and actions are aligned and good is a practice. And the path includes what Esther Hicks calls, “contrast.” We need contrast (the times when things don’t feel good) to help us know what feels good. Contrast is just a helpful reminder to shift again.
Breathing and body awareness focused meditation is a powerful tool you can use any moment of the day to ground, center and calm yourself when nothing else works.
Detach from Outcomes:
Another tool falling into what I call the “Advanced Awareness” category is detaching from the outcomes. Detaching means you’ve asked for what you want, you’ve practiced better thinking, healthier believing and taking aligned action and then you let go and get on with your day. You don’t obsess over what will happen, you don’t attach to a particular outcome, and you don’t set yourself up for disappointment by needing to have things turn out a certain way. Letting go and surrendering to the moment is a freedom you’ll not quickly give up once you master it. Letting go of outcomes allows the Universe to conspire on your behalf and possibly even bring you something better than what you’ve asked for.
So let part of this practice of moving from burn out to blissed out be detaching from the outcomes. You’ll practice no matter what happens, because the practice feels better.
Don’t take it personally:
Another Advanced Awareness tool to try is not taking anything personally. This goes along with detaching from outcomes and is focused on what others think, say and do in relation to you. When you take everything personally you give away your power. When you think others make you feel a certain way, you’re forgetting that only you are in charge of how you feel.
Use your triggers as opportunities to practice. When something’s hit you in the chest and you realize you’re feeling mad, upset, disappointed, let down or otherwise bad…realize it was your attachments and expectations that created the feeling. Sit back and say, “That’s interesting,” and move to a space of curiosity instead of reaction.
When you take things personally you’re not realizing that nothing is really about you. Everyone lives and expresses based on their own baggage, experiences and filters. What they’ve said or done to you is really a reflection of where they’re at. When you can understand this and practice your awareness in the moments that’ve triggered you the most in the past, the game will change and you can get on (much more quickly) with your badass positive, on-purpose, feel-good self.
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When you’re surfing the waves of life making the most of the practice, sometimes crashing, sometimes riding high, and sometimes sitting on the sand watching the other surfers, you realize nothing is bad or good - it’s all what we feel it is. Some things feel good and some things don’t. Stick with what feels good. And then wake up tomorrow and practice it again.
The path is what matters, not whether or not you’re winning or losing, crashing or riding high. The path; the moment by moment choices we make to think, believe and act in ways that bliss us out, is the way. And with awareness we get to choose whatever we want to choose. We get to choose what’s blissful.
Now go out and choose to think, believe and act the way that makes you feel the best. Show up in your moments as a conscious creator of your life. No more excuses. You have the power to do this the way that suits you. Fear is just excitement without the breath - be afraid and choose what feels good anyway! And watch how what you’ve always wanted comes easily and merrily your way, every day, forever more.
Still not sure? Need some hand holding on this path? I’m ready with The Brave Healers Mastermind. It’s a 12 Week online program to heal what’s getting in the way of you thinking, believing and acting in ways that’ll manifest your dreams. I’m taking a small group of women and we’re going to explore and transform our lives using beginning and advanced awareness tools. Want more info? You’ll find it HERE. There are a small amount of spots remaining.
Laura Di Franco Probert is a holistic physical therapist, published author, poet, blogger and black belt with over two decades of experience in healing. Her programs combine the transformational tools of body awareness and therapeutic writing to help you learn the language of your intuition and gain the clarity you want for your life. Laura’s enthusiasm and passion for this work is contagious and the spark you’ll need to finally make the change you’ve been afraid to make. She’s the sherpa you’ve been looking for! www.BraveHealer.com www.Facebook.com/KickAssWarriorGoddess