Ding-Dong! The Creaky Clock Strikes 'Bloomberg 2016' Again!

He could save the Republican Party -- if only the Republican Party was an entirely different collection of humans.
Michael Bloomberg continues to save bad columnists on deadline.
Michael Bloomberg continues to save bad columnists on deadline.

Welcome once again to our Michael Bloomberg Clockwatch, an infrequently updated journal of every time some columnist, out of ideas and deadline looming, summons up that old chestnut, "Michael Bloomberg should run for president."

Who will be the last columnist to die for this mistake? Maybe Jamie Stiehm, writing in U.S. News & World Report -- a publication here seen being pretty lax about the topics for which the "world" needs "reports."

Is there a man who can save the party of Republicans from themselves? There may be one, but only one. His name is Michael Bloomberg, and he used to be a Republican (when he was mayor of New York) and a Democrat before that. Now Bloomberg is an independent waiting to be asked to dance by a party that is taking American politics and values down.

Here's where we must ask if Stiehm -- who might be some sort of satirist, who knows? -- is at all familiar with the modern-day Republican Party and its guiding philosophies. I submit to you that she is not. For example:

Bloomberg, to his great credit, is the U.N. Secretary-General's Special Envoy for Cities and Climate Change. He's a can-do man who can see the future coming in and cares about generations beyond our selfish state of things.

So, he's not a good fit for Republicans.

He cares about public health in a more meaningful way than Dr. Ben Carson, taking stands against smoking and soda consumption.

Right, Republican voters make fun of him for all of this. (Though I suppose everyone does.)

Finally, in the wake of murders at a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado, we're forced to face the fact that there is not one prominent Republican in office who is pro-abortion rights.

Whoa! You don't say!

Bloomberg, meanwhile, is pro-abortion rights.

Yeah ... see, this is just one more reason why no one from the Republican Party is trying to recruit Michael Bloomberg to run for president under their banner.

I'll say no more, except: Bloomberg is the man of reason to come to the aid of the party.

Right, see, "man of reason?" That's another disqualification, perhaps for running for office in America entirely.

It's actually too bad that Stiehm doesn't highlight some of the things that Republicans might find appealing about Bloomberg, such as his wholesale selling off of New York City to rich developers.

But even then, the GOP could probably find someone to do that sort of thing who wasn't simultaneously given to strident support of gun control. That might have been worth noting, actually: Bloomberg's position on guns leaves him well outside the GOP base's range of acceptable candidates.

Before you write a column about why a political party should draft someone as their presidential candidate, is it important to be remotely familiar with that political party and its current political leanings? Some editors would apparently say, "Whatever, just wing it for six hundred words. Who cares?"


Jason Linkins edits "Eat The Press" for The Huffington Post, and co-hosts the HuffPost politics podcast, "So, That Happened." Listen to the latest episode below:

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