Bloomberlusconi Wins in New York!

Flouting the law, sneering at democracy, bachelor-at-large Michele Bloomberlusconi triumphed yesterday in his flagrant third-time purchase of the top spot in the supposedly smartest city in the world. The diminuitive, reptilian media mogul spent an unprecedented $90 million purchasing the office, convincing ordinary New Yorkers that as a bastion of Wall Street he could rescue the city from the financial sewer Wall Street created.

Global advertising agencies reeling from years of Internet erosion of their old-media base celebrated the win with wild enthusiasm. Chortled the 87-year-old Chief Creative Officer of BBY&ODDBOR -- InterPublic-IMJW-Media Group, "The Mayor's FABULOUS win spells it out. Crass, misleading wall-to-wall advertising supported by unlimited budget can still persuade people buy ANYTHING, however shoddy and discredited." Avanti Bloomberlusconi!