Ever wonder what goes down behind closed doors at blow job workshops? Wonder no more!
Below, sex educators and other experts from around the country share their best advice from BJ classes. (NSFW material ahead!)
1. Start slow.
âItâs fun to start soft. Let your partner get hard in your mouth, without any motion. Just let them experience the warmth of your breath and wetness of your tongue then gently begin to suck. Anticipation will make your partner even hotter.â â Rebekah Beneteau, a sex, kink and intimacy coach and co-host of the webinar âThe Joy of Oral: Make Your Next Mouthful Matterâ
2. Donât shy away from lube.
âPeople often think that their own saliva will be enough lubrication to get the job done. Itâs actually best to add a bit of lube to get started: either water-based or silicone. After a few minutes, you may build up enough of your own juices to keep the action going. Sucking on a hard, sugar-free candy can also help you build up saliva.â â Melissa Jones, a sexologist and executive director of the Sexology Institute and Boutique in San Antonio, Texas
3. Get handsy.
âRemember: A good blow job is 50 percent hands. Using your hands, with even pressure and friction in concert with your mouth, does more than what your mouth can do on its own. It can make or break a blow job experience.â â Elle Chase, a sex educator and author of Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life
4. Ask questions.
âAsk questions before you start and even during if you arenât sure heâs having a good time. Every man is different. They donât all like the same thing. Donât ask broad questions like âIs this good?â Instead, ask yes or no questions that give you concrete information, like, âWould you like it faster?ââ â Trevor Jones, a sex, kink and intimacy coach and co-host of the webinar âThe Joy of Oral: Make Your Next Mouthful Matterâ
5. Work with the curve and angle of your partnerâs penis.
âDeep throating isnât for everyone, but if it is something you want to do, having your mouth and throat match the angle of your partnerâs penis can help. If they are curved or angled upward for instance, being on your knees below them would not work as well because their penis would be more likely to hit the roof of your mouth than go smoothly down your throat. In that case, have them lie down on a bed, kneel next to them facing their feet, and lean down until youâre comfortable. From there, open your throat like you would for a yawn â now your partnerâs penis can slide down your throat at a more comfortable and natural angle.â â Amory Jane, a sex educator and education coordinator at She Bop, a sex toy boutique in Portland, Oregon
6. Give him your undivided attention.
âGive him your attention, not his penis. Let him know you desire his pleasure and satisfaction by giving frequent eye contact, saying his name, asking him how he likes it or if he wants anything special. Eye contact also allows you to read his body language, to see how he responds to different techniques.â â Melissa Jones
7. Donât forget âthe boys.â
âTo give a successful blow job, you have to pay attention to his balls. Go back and forth, popping each one into your mouth and going back every now and again to lick the whole sack area. I encourage starting your blow job here, actually; spending a bit of time with âthe boysâ helps boost his arousal before you start bobbing â the part where youâre most likely hurting your jaw.â â Sasha Rene, founder of the Blow By Blow workshop in San Diego, California
8. Be in the moment.
âYouâre putting your partnerâs most coveted body part in your mouth and between your teeth â that takes an enormous amount of trust. Savor the experience. Show your partner how much you recognize this by treating their blow job with enthusiasm, focused attention and high regard.â â Elle Chase