Boehner Calls Tanning Tax 'Attack on Orange Americans'

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - The Senate's efforts to introduce a tax on tanning beds hit a roadblock today as Rep. John Boehner (R-Ohio) blasted the idea, calling it "a blatant attack on Orange Americans."

Rep. Boehner said that the anti-tanning provision would likely create opposition from the so-called "Orange Republicans," a group of pumpkin-colored lawmakers including Sen. John Ensign (R-Nev).

"We are going from orange to red over this thing," he said.

Mr. Boehner said he was confident that the tanning tax would be removed from the final healthcare bill just as a tax on Botox was: "Botox users were furious about that tax, but they didn't show it." More here.