"Bones" Season Finale Goes Batsh*t Crazy

First off, at the beginning of the season, I gave Hart Hanson, the creator of Fox's "Bones" some homework, and he failed miserably. But honestly, there is no way to judge a current season based on things you want resolved from past seasons, so Mr. Hanson gets a pass. Besides, the show definitely delivered on some counts, so I can't complain.

Especially since the show as I knew it is completely different than it was when I first wrote about it a year ago. It's not a bad thing; it's a sign of an evolving show. But let's be frank - "Bones" started out as a character-driven procedural that used subtle comedy and quirky characters to lighten the dark nature of the cases. Now? Emily Deschanel's Dr. Brennan is hardly ever in the lab, choosing field work with David Boreanaz's Agent Booth. They're also abducting corpses from funeral homes and going undercover at the circus. And they've turned into goofballs. Meanwhile, Sweets (John Francis Daley), the shrink, is also going undercover, as well as the rotating interns, none of whom are fit to replace Zack, apparently. Hodgins (TJ Thyne) is bouncing turkeys off his ex-fiancee's head and waking up in the desert with her face tattooed on his arm. Brennan is suddenly wanting to learn psychology and have a baby. And Booth is hallucinating. He's seeing Stewie from "The Family Guy."

What show is this? It's a fun show, but what the hell show is this?

It's totally cool for a show to change things up, change relationships, bring in new characters and move on from old ones. But I wonder if the "Bones" that we saw this season is the show the creators had always intended to make or if it's the other show they can't presently make due to the economy. Then again, this could be the most awesome display of creative anarchy I've ever seen on TV. They're not just going to write off a favorite character in an insane way. They're going to go completely insane and turn the whole show upside down.

Basically, "Bones" thought it might be a great idea to go to Vegas on a whim, but ended up getting astronomically tanked, losing all its money, winning it all back, spending half of it on magic shows, demolishing the MGM Grand and shooting an Elvis impersonator in the ass, and then ultimately decided it liked that random guy they accidentally married. (I also like to think that the fact that the show still has cases is like calling home to tell Mom that "the lights are so pretty at night! Anyway, gotta go...")

Now, unlike last season, I am not reading spoilers. It got me way too upset. So upset that I couldn't even cry for a month. This season, I abstained. As a result, I have no idea what's going on in the finale. Last we saw Booth, he was seeing Stewie right before masturbating and was later wheeled into surgery. Now he and Brennan are, what, undercover again? Running a nightclub? Called "The Lab"? And Zack is back, with the old school hair and duds? And Sweets is in a band? (Will he finally sing "Lime in the Coconut" like he's been promising since last season?) Oh, and that other big deal about Booth and Brennan having sex with each other. The talking points being repeated in the press about The Sex is that it will not disturb the central theme or chemistry of the show. (I hope they're not referring to that "Will they or won't they?" thing, because, well...)

What's my point? My point is this: I really, really, really can't wait to watch this. And if you've never watched "Bones" before, you have got to tune in for this. It's gonna be crazy.

And by the way, two things that have been conspicuously left hanging: Zack confessing to Sweets that he wasn't a killer and Hodgins waking up in the desert. With Angela's face on his whole entire upper arm. Ummmm...yeah. Anything? At all? Or is this like the hooker in Vegas who said "By the way - don't tell my pimp I really work for the CIA. Byeeeee!"

The season finale of "Bones" airs at 8:00 PM on Fox on Thursday, May 14th.

Worth noting: Wendy Young, who runs the blog Obsessed With Bones gave birth to a baby squint last week! Congratulations, Wendy and welcome Noah!