3 Steps to Break Your Relationship Patterns for Good

You are so ready to bring that love you desire into your life. It's that incredibly satisfying, accepting and loving relationship with someone who values and respects you for being exactly who you are. The problem is, you keep finding yourself repeating the same patterns in relationships over and over to the point where you're wondering if this relationship that you dream about even exists!

After I got divorced seven years ago, I fell head first into the world of dating again and spent years in and out of unfulfilling relationships. I eventually found myself alone, miserable, with a drug addiction, disordered eating habits and chronic migraines being the worse than they had ever been. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I lost myself. I didn't know who I was and my entire concept of self-worth was dependent on my relationships with men. I lost passion for life and I was seeking to fill the void with everything but my own self-love. I realized that I needed to get to know who I was from the inside out and that meant developing a relationship with my unconscious mind.

The primary concern of our unconscious mind is survival. From the day we are born, we begin to develop beliefs about ourselves and the world that were created to keep us protected and safe. When you decide a belief is no longer serving you and try to change, your unconscious mind puts the breaks on because you are taking it into the unknown. The good news is that you have the power to explore these beliefs so that you can create new ones that will enable you to create the things you consciously desire!

It wasn't until I really started working with my unconscious mind that I was able to end the cycles, break free from my addictions and cultivate this love, passion and true worth from within. I was able to get so clear on who I am and what I want that the men who show up in my life now reflect my new level of self-worth and admire and respect me exactly as I am. I no longer tie myself into knots pretending to be someone I'm not. I am fully comfortable being completely authentic when engaging with them and express all of me without fear of abandonment.

What are the ways that you can start exploring who you are and letting go of your old beliefs about love so that you can create a new level of self-worth and confidence?

1. Commit
Your commitment to yourself and making any change in your life is the fuel that ignites your unconscious mind and prepares it to start receiving new information. Commit to being honest with yourself, to taking action and doing the things you need to do to get yourself there is essential. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself on track to explore your beliefs about love and yourself. Journaling or writing a letter to yourself about your commitment is a great way to do it. Express what you're feeling, what you want and the actions you are committing to that are going to get you to where you want to be.

2. Connect
Connecting with your unconscious mind is key to find out more about your beliefs and what you can do to change them. This innate guidance system is the force that keeps your heart beating and your blood pumping. This intelligence stores all memory about you and knows everything you need. By accessing it through meditation, hypnosis and visualization, you will discover things about yourself you never even knew and gain insight and answers to lead you in the direction you want to go.

One way to do it is by focusing on the emotions you want to feel in a loving relationship then you can start to visualize and connect with that future you. Your brain doesn't know the difference between what you imagine and what's real so when you repeat work like this everyday, your body becomes more and more familiar with this feeling and it becomes like a magnet to the experience. You will start to bring people and circumstances into your life that reflect these feelings you've created inside!

3. Create
We hear so much about the Law of Attraction and how to "attract" love into our lives. There's a key element that is missing from so many of these processes. It's so important that we not only believe we can have what we desire in our lives but that we actually TAKE ACTION to create it.

You will experience the fastest change when you meditate or visualize at least once a day. Remember, your beliefs and patterns have been repeated over and over so it takes a lot of practice to let them go. The more you do it, the easier it is to focus and pay attention to the people in your life and how they are making you feel. This will enable you to choose the people you spend your time with wisely and break those patterns that you've held for so many years. You can use the clarity and confidence you gained in connecting with your inner guidance to really explore the things you're passionate about and find others who share the same values and interests. You'll find that you start meeting so many people who reflect your new state of confidence and self-worth!

In order to create the love we desire in our lives, we need to go within to discover who we really are, what we need and give it to ourselves first. It is only then that we start bringing others into our world who reflect that passion, joy and love we hold for ourselves.