You know why they call it breaking news?
Because it is broken.
Most of the time what your Wolfs and Foxes are yapping about is nothing more than the sound of their own yapping and yelping.
The actual information you get most of the time can fill maybe half a midget's thimble. And that insipid crawl that crawls beneath the live feed is so old the last one I read said "Dewey Defeats Truman."
And even that had to be retracted. Eventually.
Here's the thing. We are a civilization of voyeurs that love to peek into the windows and macs of other people's lives like a creepy nation of Peeping Toms and Tomasinas.
I don't know about you but I tend to stare endlessly at my iPhone with the same kind of intense love as brand new parents staring through the glass of the hospital nursery at their brand new ibaby.
We don't love information. We love the thrill of delivery. The stimulation. We love the electronic solitary masturbation thrill of it all.
I swear we could be getting all our news in Sanskrit and we would beyond tickled.
We over stock our brains like our they're our refrigerators before a long three day weekend.
It's not a bout gigabytes or terabytes. It's about megachomps. We DEVOUR everything in our sight.
We BUY. We HOARD. We COLLECT.
And most of it is done in the discomfort of our own aloneness.
You go to the park to see a ball game and people are staring at their phones looking up the score.
You go on vacation and people are either using their phones to catch the present that they are ignoring or not participating in or they are texting home to tell them what they are not seeing.
So the news.
THIS right now is news. I am trying to report some very salient information here.
The problem is our attention spans have...is that a cat? Look how cute that is.
We are all Barney Fife desperate to KNOW it EVERYTHING while knowing nothing in the end.
And in this age where your presumptive GOP candidate Orange Julius Caesar twists the truth like a learning challenged four year old with an oversized head pulling taffy at the state fair, those who don't fancy book learnin' treat every distorted hate filled lie like it was the gospel truth because, to paraphrase the movie Network, "He's on TV stupid."
Every civilization picks its own personal Gods and we have chosen to swallow whole the Apple from the Garden of Eden while the earth finally looks defiantly flat on our flat screen televisions.
So if you are checking things off. News? Nope. Information? Nope. Enlightenment? Only if it comes during the WWDC in San Francisco.
What we also get is mass hysteria and paranoia. The illusion right now is that the lemmings of Trumpville are about to usher in their infant King and there is nothing we can do to stop it. It's a referendum! It's unstoppable! It's a national movement.
Wrong.
What is actually happening is that a small minority of America---who have always been there, hiding behind the flowing skirts of their own thinly veiled uneducated hostility have been given a voice via their orange slathered ventriloquist God who is yelling exactly what they are thinking...which is an amazing feat given that they don't have a fucking actual thought in their heads.
Worse we---every single one of us--have become Trump's superpac. We have become the the way too silent investors in his political casino by hanging on to his every word, while we go out and spend millions on the products that CNN and MSNBC and Fox are shilling.
He thanks you for the support.
Les Moonves of CBS said that Trump is bad for America, but great for CBS. And he is right. Trump has become the guilty pleasure side show freak that we just cannot get enough of. The Orange Man is on TV! Right next to the fat lady with a full grown beard.
So now the news is nothing more than a three ring Barnum and Bailey circus with talking head ringmasters who have nothing to say but man do they know how to make us feel excited, fearful or ready for the next thrill.
So. America. Wake. The. Fuck. Up.
Literally.
Stop dreaming this passive aggresive dream we are living where we don't even participate in our own lives.
Stop looking for the next distraction like twitchy commuters who are waiting for the next train to arrive.
In fact do not get on the train at all.
Stop having a one track mind existence and let it go by.
Because right now Trump is both conductor and engineer of that really big, really fantastic, unbelievable express and trust me, really, trust me, it is heading at supersonic speed right for the wall.
Sent from my iPad