One of the most difficult bad habits to overcome is the worry habit. Of course, it is natural to worry on occasion. You reasonably would be worried if you child went to the hospital. And no one would fault you for worrying if you unexpectedly lost your job. But for some, worrying is an automatic response to even the smallest bump in the road of life.
The problem with worrying is that it has no value. It solves nothing and steals the mental energy that we should be using to solve our problems. Moreover, worrying robs us of the ability to enjoy life. We cannot worry and be happy at the same time.
Below are some strategies to help you eliminate the worry habit. Consider using them when you feel the longing to fret, wring your hands, or otherwise give in to your desire to worry.
1. Instead of Worrying, Take Action: There is a great saying, "Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere." Worrying doesn't solve problems. And in fact, when you worry, you typically create more problems by driving everyone up a wall with your kvetching. The next time you have something to worry about, take action. Do something to solve the problem. Then once you've done all you can do, forget about it. And if you aren't in a position to do anything, forget it, and do something else that is worthwhile and productive. Either way, take action! We always feel better when we act and accomplish, than when we sit and mull.
2. If You Are Worried About Someone, Help Them: Your worry does nothing for the person you are concerned about. You may think you are being a good person by worrying about others, but you aren't. Worrying doesn't make you a bad person either; it just has zero effect on anyone else. If you really are worried about someone, then do something for them. Help them. If they are struggling with an issue, hop on Amazon, use your one-click shopping and send them an inspirational book. Treat them to a cup of coffee and be a listening ear. Send a card of encouragement. Just realize that your worry is pointless. Whereas a kind gesture can make someone feel like they aren't alone in the world.
3. Focus on Being Your Best: If you look back on your life, you will see that most problems ended up working out when you kept being responsible and did your best. (Notice I didn't say, "When you worried a lot, your problems went away.") So when problems arise, look back on your life. You will see that if you keep doing the right thing, most problems get resolved. And very often those things that initially look unfavorable ultimately end up working to your benefit.
4. Accept Responsibility Only for What You Can Do: We all know that the only thing in life we can control is ourselves. Some of us find that to be a cause for worry. However, that realization should be liberating. Once you know that you can only control your own actions, you are free from responsibility for everything else that happens in the world. Neither your worry nor your actions will change what other people do or don't do. You can try to influence others positively by your actions, but that is the extent of your power. Your worrying has absolutely no effect. So rest easy in the knowledge that you are only asked to do your best, nothing more.
5. Remember That Worrying Is Not the Same As Caring: There is a big difference between saying to someone, "I'm worried about you," and asking them "Can I help you?" When you say, "I'm worried about you," that is all about how you are feeling. Frankly, if someone is struggling, your feelings of worry are irrelevant. The conversation should be focused on how the other person is feeling. Whereas, if you say to someone, "Can I help you?" or "Would you like to go out for a cup of coffee and a chat?" the message you are sending is, "I care about you." If you are going to start a conversation with someone you are worried about, the point should be that you either are going to offer meaningful help or a listening ear. Otherwise, don't start the conversation. If you are really concerned about a friend or family member, then see #2.
Worrying is something that we all do from time to time. But when it becomes a habit, it steals our joy and keeps us from helping both ourselves and those we love. And it is never the solution. So use some of the above suggestions to break the worry habit and live a happier life.
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