Reflecting back on my past relationships, I realize they have shaped me into the person that I am today. Certain people enter into your life and they can be a catalyst for personal change and growth. It's as if you attract a particular person because you needed to learn, grow and re-evaluate your life, and so the universe sends that special someone into your life for you to realize your potential.
Your romantic partners reflect your deepest insecurities, desires, fears and hopes. They reflect you and what you hope to become. Their presence and their departure from your life provide you with an opportunity to grow. These lessons are yours to take or to ignore.
We all possess karma. This is reflected in repeated scenarios, habits and situations. The people that we attract give us a chance to reshape that karma. We can live through the same habits and negative cycles, or we can grow beyond that unproductive dynamic and become wiser, stronger and closer to our true potential.
Going through an emotional breakup can make it difficult to have a holistic perspective. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The choice you make after a troubling experience is completely in your control. You can blindly choose to block out your hurt feelings, blame others and harbour resentment. However, know that this route can harm you and taint future relationships. Or you can embrace your emotions. Be honest with yourself. Ask, "what can I do with myself to become healthier?" After all, how can you attract the "right" one into your life when you are not the "right" one?
I went through a breakup six months ago that was extremely hurtful. Following that upheaval, I could not find a way to see past the darkness, anger and pain. Now, fast forward to today. I am thankful for that experience. As challenging as it was, the opportunity made me much stronger and allowed me to re-evaluate my life, my goals and my outlook.
That painful period of my life helped me to grow wiser and gave me the strength to open up my heart and expand my mind. It pushed me to make active choices that propelled me onto a path of positivity, health and happiness. My heartache was almost intolerable, but if my emotions had not sunk so low I would not have been shown the path to this wonderful road of discovery. I had to lose a part of myself to find myself again. Today, the world I experience is seen through a much clearer and more beautiful lens. Not that beauty did not exist for me then -- I just never stopped to notice and appreciate it before.
I realize that everything is perfect the way it had always been. The universe seems to have a strange way of showing this perfect plan. But everything happens for a reason and when one door closes it's because another one was meant to open.
Relationships that do not work out are not failures. Nor are they a waste of time. They are meant to happen to prepare you to become the person you were meant to be. And this sets you up to encounter the next person you will meet. Breakups are blessings. The people you've shared such deep connections with are teachers, and the lessons they leave are a gift. They are your catalyst to affect your karma. But ultimately, it is you who chooses how to perceive these experiences. And your happiness is determined by your choice.
Amy Chan is a relationship and lifestyle writer. To read more of her blogs, visit www.amyfabulous.com