So, as another season of my life comes to a close and the realization of turning 60 on my next birthday hits me and the sadness and grief of those lost dreams and hopes seem to keep playing in my mind to the point of ... AWWWW HELL! LIFE IS GOOD!
HA!! See, I know you thought this was going to be another one of those, woe is me, my husband left, I have no children, and I'm turning 60, sad stories. But it's not! Yes, I was devastated when my husband told me he wanted a divorce. Yes, I thought I would never get through the sad, nauseous feeling of what do I do now that I'm not going to have that "Happily ever after" marriage every young girl dreams of and yes, I'm tired of seeing that sad look on people's faces when you tell them "...well I'm going through my second divorce and no I don't have any children" (that one ALWAYS gets them). But the cloud has lifted and the nausea is gone away and I'm in a NEW season. You see, I belong to a secret group of women over 50, no children, my own money, home, business, I'm happy and I still look damn good, group. I call us "The SOCIETY!" There are many of us out there but it's not easy to get in (in fact it's harder than pledging a sorority)! But we do exist and it's time to speak out to let other women know about the benefits of being one of "US." So I have slipped on my Manolo's, had a mani/pedi and dubbed myself this year's voice for "The SOCIETY."
OK. Jokes aside. This has not been a good few years for me. But in all the turmoil and many other losses (which I won't mention because this IS a feel good piece) I have come out on the other side stronger, better and more focused than ever. I have discovered the importance of God, the universe, friends, family and pets. My breakup and divorce have not made me bitter. And turning 60 has not, I repeat, HAS NOT suddenly turned me into an old prude! I still LOOOOVVVE MEN! There's nothing sexier than a confident good man who's not looking for a mother figure or a 20-year-old hottie. So on top of divorce, business loss, turning 60 , etc., I have the other realness of still wanting companionship, love, lust, sex, romance ... I could go on and on! Thus ... the reason for this piece.
We often get caught up in the negative aspects of aging and society doesn't help!. We feel the very real pain of not knowing what to expect "at our age" especially when you don't feel or look the way they say you're "supposed" to. On top of that, separating from someone you love and thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with can actually feel like a death. Add aging and menopause to the mix and look out! But now that my grief has subsided, and being the true romantic that I am, I realize there's a chance to experience a whole new world of "FIRSTS"! HOW EXCITING IS THAT?! A first glance. A first date. A first kiss. A first ... need I say more?!
Now, yes I read Mr. Harvey's wonderful book "Act like a Lady, Think like a Man" and while I learned a few good tips of how men might think, there were still some missing thoughts for me as a newly single, grown woman almost 60! I'm not looking for a father for my kids, I don't have baby daddy drama and I know that if I decide I'm going to share "the Cookie" the world won't stop spinning if you don't call me the next day. Hell, I MIGHT NOT CALL YOU! If you are a father I know your children come first and I'm good with that. If you have baby mama drama ... that's between the two of you. I do thank Mr. Harvey for reminding me that I don't have to be in control ALL. THE. TIME. I do want to be treated like a Lady (that's how I was raised). But as a spokesperson for " The SOCIETY" I wanted to let all the ladies over 50, got my own money, house, business, no husband or kids, know that... It's OK.
Not many men and/or women over 50 (almost 60) get a chance to experience the thrill of the "Firsts" again. I'm talking about the real "Firsts" not just the "for tonight" firsts. I'm talking about the stomach flutter, heart pounding, when will I see you again, oooooh girl there he is ... FIRST! The, I can still smell his cologne, is he looking at me, I can't even look at him no more, FIRST! The gurrrrrl guess how old he is (I happen to adore younger men ... yes I said it!) The wow I didn't know that was still in working order, FIRST! THE I CAN'T BELIEVE I REMEMBERED HOW TO DO THAT, FIRST! (sorry ... I got carried away)
Anyhoo, I'm here as a reminder that there's a light on the other side. If nothing else, the thought of feeling that sensation again should help GET you to the other side. We in "The SOCIETY" are proud and strong and ready for the FIRSTS!... AGAIN!
So come on August 7, 2016, (my 60th Birthday) I'M READY FOR SOME FIRSTS!!
Join us!
Stay Fierce!
Brenda Braxton
Actress
Writer
Entrepreneur
Member of "THE SOCIETY"
Share your "First over 50" experience with me! What are you looking forward to doing that you never thought you would do "AT YOUR AGE" What does your YOUR Act 2 look like?
Earlier on Huff/Post50:
