This Teenage Boy Contours Waaaay Better Than You Ever Will

We are in awe!

All beauty bloggers can go home now. We've found the Internet's most fabulously fierce makeup guru -- and, fair warning to all, he's "probably" your boyfriend's wallpaper.

World, say hello to 17-year-old Insta-celeb Bretman Rock.

Bretman's Instagram account recently exploded after he published his makeup tutorial "How to Contour" on YouTube. He now has 2.8 million followers.

"It all happened so fast," he told local Hawaii news station KITV4. "Just two months ago I was at 200k [followers]."

Bretman insists he's just a normal junior at his Hawaii high school. But for his followers, he's the go-to guru for everything from how to use the strobing makeup technique for highlights to how to get your eyebrows on fleek to how to execute the perfect burn after someone starts hatin' on your pimples.

We should mention most of his posts contain NSFW language, because only Bretman Rock can say to a rainy day, "Oh hell to the fuck no ... even Mother Nature is scared I'm gonna take her man."

Ugh even Mother Nature knows I'm boutta take her man..

A video posted by Bretman Rock (@bretmanrock) on

We've studied some all of Bretman's makeup tutorials and we're convinced: This teen serves expert beauty tips with a side of #ROFLMAO.

Let Bretman Rock teach you about everything from beauty to life to confidence with our favorite videos below.

1. How To Strobe

For the full tutorial, watch part 2, part 3, and part 4.

2. How To Deal With The Haters

A video posted by Bretman Rock (@bretmanrock) on

3. How To Fill In Your Eyebrows

A video posted by Bretman Rock (@bretmanrock) on

4. How To Contour

5. How To Get Bretman's 'When Your Sugar Daddy Dies' Eye Look

A video posted by Bretman Rock (@bretmanrock) on

For the full tutorial, watch parts 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10.

6. What To Do When You're An Hour Late To School

A video posted by Bretman Rock (@bretmanrock) on

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