Weddings have some of the most beautiful moments within them. It is a time when families and friends gather to celebrate love, reminisce about past memories, and let loose and have a good time. At the same time, they can be very stressful. As a bride you want everything to be perfect and to have a magical fairy tale ending. But unfortunately in life, everything is not perfect and a bride's high expectations can lead to a let down, creating bridezilla moments.
Having been in the wedding industry as a photographer's assistant I have seen the good and bad in a bridal party. Even in my own times as a bridesmaid, I have had totally different experiences. I was a bridesmaid for a totally chill bride, who was more concerned about my well being, having a good time, and enjoying her party. To the totally opposite end of the spectrum, where I was kicked out of the bridal party because the bride thought I wasn't "interested" or "doing enough" for her wedding. Little did the bride know that I was hosting her shower at my home, had coordinated the caterer and event staff, and had planned with the bridal party an overnight excursion, ending with a sleepover at my home. I've seen brides who absolutely cherish their bridal party, more concerned about their needs throughout the day, and others who are so wrapped up in every detail of their wedding that they lose consideration of the people who are coming together to celebrate their day.
Missed expectations create bridezilla moments. Every bride is suspect to having missed expectations, as there are a lot of different factors that go into a wedding that can potentially not go as planned. It is how you handle those tough moments that separates you from being a gracious bride from a bridezilla. Here are four signs that you are turning into a bridezilla. If any of these sound way too familiar to you, it may be time to re-evaluate your priorities. Wedding planning should be fun after all!
1. You're angry: Before you started wedding planning, you got along with everybody. But now it seems your friends and family have suddenly transformed into insensitive jerks. Here's the bad news, it's you... not them. If your conversations have turned to nasty gram texts or shouting matches, you are totally on your way to becoming a bridezilla. This is a good time to stop, take a breath, and realize that the world doesn't revolve around you. You don't necessarily have to agree with everyone, but have the courtesy to hear people out and treat everyone with dignity and respect.
2. The pictures must be perfect: Photography is a timeless aspect of wedding day planning. The images that are captured will be those that will be displayed in your home or passed down to family members. That being said, it is understandable that you want your bridal party to look their best. But making your bridal party change their look to the point they are unrecognizable is a sign you may be going overboard. It is important to embrace the imperfections of the people that you love most. Allow others to be authentic and everyone's true beauty will shine through on your wedding day.
3. You don't have time for anyone or anything else: You may have missed a ridiculous amount of work since you got engaged. Or maybe announce to your friends that you are not available to be part of any conversations that don't have to do with your wedding until after your big day. This is where it is time to face reality. Your wedding is absolutely important, but so are your other responsibilities and relationships. Don't neglect everything else in your life or expect everybody else to drop everything they are doing just because of your wedding. Have consideration for other's busy lives and responsibilities and enjoy the moments that don't have to do with your wedding. Life is too short to ruin a lifetime of friendships while on the pursuit of one perfect day.
4. You have a vision and you are sticking to it: All brides have specific ideas about their perfect wedding day and they are 100% entitled to it. But reality doesn't always play out perfectly, and that is where it is important to let go of control. Perhaps you want an outdoor wedding, but it is 100+/- degrees outside. Be mindful of your guests' comfort and well being. They are there celebrating your day with you, and having consideration for them will go much further than pushing through a situation that could lead to everyone feeling uncomfortable.
Weddings can be stressful, but they don't have to be. Missed expectations can lead to ruining the best relationships with the people who were there for you to support you on your best day. If you find yourself shifting towards bridezilla mode, it's not too late. Stop the madness, breathe, and remember why you are planning your wedding in the first place. Find gratitude for all of the experiences of planning your wedding, even the things that haven't gone your way, as time passes quickly and before you know it your wedding day will have passed. You don't want to look back on your day with regret for leaving relationships unrepairable because of the way you treated others. Consideration and kindness goes a long way and being a gracious bride will make your wedding day bridezilla free.
Melissa Escaro is a life coach runs a successful wedding photography business with her fiance Paul Pruitt. She is getting married next year and plans to not be a bridezilla. www.PaulPruitt.com