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Everything You Know About St. Patrick's Day Is Wrong

St. Patrick's Day is here! Typically, we associate the holiday with drinking, drinking, and drinking. Oh, and being Irish and green things.

But there's a lot more to St. Patrick's Day than most people know. Truthfully, you've probably been living a lie. When you learn all the facts, this holiday actually kind of... sucks.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but here are 10 brutally honest facts about St. Patrick's Day.

  • 10 St. Patrick wasn't Irish.
    Historians believe he was born in what is now <a href="http://www.history.com/news/st-patricks-day-myths-debunked" target="_b
    Giphy
    Historians believe he was born in what is now England, Scotland or Wales.
  • 9 St. Patrick's color is blue.
    WE'VE BEEN LIVING A LIE. You might want to <a href="https://www.catholic.org/saints/story.php?id=45045" target="_blank">hold
    Imgur
    WE'VE BEEN LIVING A LIE. You might want to hold off on the green face paint this year.
  • 8 St. Patrick's Day as we know it was invented in America.
    Really?! Catholic University's Irish American expert, <a href="http://history.cua.edu/faculty/Meagher/" target="_blank">Timot
    Imgur
    Really?! Catholic University's Irish American expert, Timothy Meagher, explains that St. Patrick's Day celebrations began in the 18th century in American cities with large Irish immigrant populations."It becomes a way to honor the saint but also to confirm ethnic identity and to create bonds of solidarity," Meagher explained. Really.
  • 7 March 17th is the day St. Patrick died.
    So you're celebrating his death, you a**hole.
    Giphy
    So you're celebrating his death, you a**hole.
  • 6 St. Patrick didn't drive all the snakes from Ireland.
    Probably because there's <a href="https://www.catholic.org/saints/story.php?id=45045" target="_blank">no evidence</a> that sn
    Imgur
    Probably because there's no evidence that snakes have EVER existed in Ireland. The climate is much too chilly for them.
  • 5 The shamrock isn't the symbol of Ireland.
    Sure, you can find shamrocks all over the Emerald Isle, but the real symbol is the <a href="https://www.catholic.org/saints/s
    Giphy
    Sure, you can find shamrocks all over the Emerald Isle, but the real symbol is the harp.
  • 4 St. Patrick's Day used to be a dry holiday.
    Today's booze-bags look to the holiday as a great excuse to start drinking Guinness at 9 AM. Until 1970, however, all pubs in
    Imgur
    Today's booze-bags look to the holiday as a great excuse to start drinking Guinness at 9 AM. Until 1970, however, all pubs in Ireland were closed in observance of the religious feast day.
  • 3 Corned beef and cabbage isn't a traditional Irish dish.
    It's just about as <a href="http://www.history.com/news/hungry-history/corned-beef-and-cabbage-as-irish-as-spaghetti-and-meat
    Imgur
    It's just about as Irish as spaghetti and meatballs. You're better off sticking to Guinness.
  • 2 There are more Irish people living in the U.S. than Ireland.
    The population of <a href="https://www.catholic.org/saints/story.php?id=45045" target="_blank">Ireland is about 4.2. million<
    Imgur
    The population of Ireland is about 4.2. million. In contrast, there are around 34 MILLION people of Irish descent living in America.
  • 1 Your odds of finding a four-leaf clover are slim to none.
    <a href="https://www.catholic.org/saints/story.php?id=45045" target="_blank">1 in 10,000</a> to be exact.
    Giphy
    1 in 10,000 to be exact.

Ouch.

But let's end on a happy note. At least these two guys are Irish.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone!

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