Bush Vows Retaliation Against Canada, UK for Goose Downing of Flight 1549

Within minutes of US Airways Flight 1549's crash landing in the Hudson River, a little known terrorist cell of Canadian geese took credit for the near tragedy and President George W. Bush, despite his lame goose status, waved his bloody sword at Canada - and even the United Kingdom.

Bush warned Prime Minister Stephen Harper that Canada must take swift action to scatter the terrorist geese, or America will.

"If Canada continues to give these geese a safe nest, the United States will consider our neighbor to the North a terrorist regime. You're either part of our flock or you're birds of a different feather," he told Harper.

"This goes for the Queen of England, too," Bush said. "Queenie, your kid brother can no longer hide behind your royal skirts. If Canada allows these terrorist geese to roost near our homeland and you protect Canada, America will invade Ottawa and we'll dive bomb London.

"If you think this former fighter pilot won't take flight in my last days in office ... go ahead, make my day," Bush said.