Bush's Stunning, Surprising, Full-of-News Speech on Iraq

Hey, how about that Bush speech on Iraq? Lots of new stuff. I was stunned when he told us he thought Cheney was "off his rocker" (was that an age-ist crack?) for saying that insurgency was in its "last throes." And that bit about Rumsfeld and the Pentagon exaggerating--he didn't even say "overexaggerate"--the numbers of Iraqi troops that have been trained and equipped--damn powerful. He cautioned that Iraq might devolve into sectarian violence and that there "ain't much we can do about that." He said he would be happy to sit down with those Democrats and Republicans who have asked to set a timetable for withdrawal and hear them out. "It's not as if Condi has any new bright ideas," he remarked. He said he was going to impose a tax hike on the rich to pay for "all the armor our troops in Iraq need." He also announced that his daughters, with his encouragement, were enlisting in the Army and volunteering for duty in Iraq. "They're not asking for any special treatment," he said. "Laura and I are so proud of them." He asked all other members of Congress who supported the war to encourage their children to sign up. "We've got to do something about this recruitment crisis," he explained. Bush then said he was sorry he had misled the world about "those WMDs" and "also that business about Saddam being in cahoots with al Qaeda." Quoting Billy Graham, he asked for forgiveness and for other countries to pitch in and help make Iraq "the best it can be." To demonstrate he was sincere, he announced he had suspended all contracts with Halliburton. "Sorry, Dick," he quipped. Bush then removed his suit jacket and revealed a medical device that he wears on his back. "Just thought you should know," he said.

Not. For a more reality-based look at Bush's no-news speech, click here.